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"AHAHAHAHAHAH OH J$, YOU NEVER CEASE TO SLAY ME WITH YOUR WIT. "I WOULD LIKE TO BUY THE EMPIRE STATE BUILDING WITH MY WINNINGS, PLEASE, CHAIRMAN..." More

from Our Back-to-School Horror Stories Will Put Yours to Shame

"HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY REMEMBER THAT, FEATHERY?! I TOLD THAT STORY FOUR YEARS AGO! YOU'RE LIKE THE GANDALF OF THE INTERWEBS. I SHALL BAKE A SHE..." More

from Our Back-to-School Horror Stories Will Put Yours to Shame

"MY NEW GOAL IS TO SIT NEXT TO YOU AT THE EMMYS AND PARTAKE IN SAID SHEET CAKE...." More

from THE RED CARPET SHALL NEVER BE THE SAME: An ALL-CAPS Style Recap of the 2014 Emmys!

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