Life According to Ginger: Paaaaarty?

Life According to Ginger: Paaaaarty?

By Contributor

As of right now, I’ve been at college for two weeks, three days, five hours, and approximately fifty-two minutes. Fifty-three minutes. In that short time, I've accumulated enough homework that I have to spend my entire Sunday in the library. I've also figured out exactly why I wanted to go to this school: we have the best graffiti ever. The graffiti on the inside of a lamp by my library desk says this:

“I just need to know I’m worth it.”
“I <3 you”
“You R worth it!”
“I concur!!!”
“As do I”
“Ruth is hot
“You are worth it.”
“beware of linear algebra”
“You are worth not just it, but everything.”
“I’ve never seen such positive graffiti; this must be a magical lamp”

Well said, graffiti artist number 11 with bad handwriting.

Right now, I’m sitting at my desk, eating goldfish (it’s what’s for dinner), and there are people walking past my dorm singing “A Whole New World.” I thought I was in heaven, but then I smelled a certain illegal substance (hint: it rhymes with Tijuana) and remembered that it was just the Midwest. Sigh.

Speaking of illegal substances, there seem to be a lot of them on campus. Too many. I’m having trouble telling if this is unique to my school, something that happens at the beginning of the year when people are getting reacquainted, or just something else to expect from college, like school-sponsered midnight nerf gun wars in the science center. I thought I was completely prepared for the huge parties (I even know how to create a legitimate toga), but this seems excessive. I think I’ll go with the assumption that college students, in general, really like to drink themselves silly. For the benefit of all those who are not in college yet (I’ll make the assumption that most of you aren’t. Because I love making an ASS out of U and ME), I think I’ll see if I can set up a Part vs. Time (weeks) graph to see if this could just be a beginning-of-the-year thing. And then we can take the integral of it to find the Total Alcohol Consumption vs. Time graph! I wonder what kind of function that would be… I miss calculus…Did I just say that? Moving on…

No worries, I have no intention of “going wild,” as my aunt would say; I’ll at least reserve a couple of “sober hours” a week to write these. Just kidding. Sobriety blows. Again, kidding. I don’t drink. Or do I? YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT TO THINK NOW, DO YOU.

Ginger’s Song of the Week: Here’s a song about peaches, and the music video features a ninja fight. You should probably watch the music video.

P.S. In case you were still confused, I don’t actually drink. Yay for being a responsible adult!

Do people at your school drink?

Related post: Life According to Ginger: First, Second, Third, and Fourth Impressions of College

Topics: sparkler posts, homework, studying, life according to ginger, libraries, drinking, college life, graffiti, sobriety, calculus

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