The Daily Trials of an English Major: The Ultimate Distraction
Courtney Guth is back with a post about wasting your college career distracting yourself in class! —Sparkitors
There comes a time in every college student’s career when he or she will come across what I like to call “The Charlie Brown Professor.” This professor will stand at the front of the lecture hall, and all the students will hear is the monotone “Wah waaahwahh wah wah Waaahhh wah.” Students desperately attempt to pay attention, but as that mind-numbing, monotonous man drones on and on about climate changes and the biosphere, they realize their battle to stay awake is a failing one. Some students opt to skip class entirely. Other students, such as myself, who posses moral integrity, feel obligated to attend, even though the lecture summaries are available online after class.
In order to get through this unfortunate circumstance, I present to you the ultimate tool of distraction! The magnificent marvel of diversion! The remarkable form of amusement! The iPod Touch!
Yes, that’s right! Why pay attention in class when you can play on your iPod instead? In order to make class more bearable, I give you...
The Best Distraction Apps (NOTE: Use of iPod Touch does not guarantee a passing grade. Side effects may include: drop in GPA, sore thumbs, and an addiction to Angry Birds.)
Facebook: As the professor drones on, you can inconspicuously feed your addiction to Facebook. (You know you have one; admitting it is the first step toward recovery.) While in lecture, be sure to update your status to something everyone needs to know, such as, “Courtney is sitting in class right now and is like totes bored out of her mind!!! (:” Then, like your own status. Check if the cutie in your next class, another great form of distraction, commented on your status. Creep said cutie’s profile. Look through his pictures; now look back through your pictures. Look again. Now you’ve wasted an hour. Anything is possible when you have Facebook as an app.
Cut the Rope: Angry Birds is so two lectures ago. I’m all for Cut the Rope. What’s more fun than swiping, cutting, dropping candy, and earning gold stars? Certainly not my Geography lecture, that’s for sure. Why have study goals when you can accomplish the goal of reaching the next level box? In between checking Facebook, you can become addicted to this fun game. Disregard your note taking and just go ahead and play.
Netflix: Instant stream on an iPod Touch may just be the best invention ever, especially on a completely Wi-Fi enabled campus. Instead of watching Mr. Professor McOldpants go on and on about stuff you don’t care about, watch a movie instead! I’ll pick watching Joseph Gordon-Levitt in (500) Days of Summer over paying attention in class any day. You can easily get swept up in a movie, rather than be stuck taking notes. Enrich your sense of culture, not your mind.
Rhyme Now Free: Spend your lecture writing poetry! It’s such an English Major activity to do. Fill those margins with imagery and wonder. Sometimes, you’re stuck on a rhyme, but you’re short on time. When it happens, Rhyme Now Free is there for me. If I find that I’m stuck, or caught in a jam, this app is there to lend a hand.
Words With Friends: I may or may not have an unhealthy addiction to this game, and you will too. I’ve been keeping it out of the lecture hall, but with the way my intense competition over the past week has been going, it may start to creep into the hall. For the record, I’m losing. My opponent plays words such as caviar, suave, and oddity, whereas I play home, bed, and rad. My skills as an English Major are beginning to fail me. Perhaps I’ll just drop out and be a housewife, which will certainly occur if I continue with this ultimate means of distraction…
That's it, we're not putting our future kids through college.
Do you play on your iPod touch during class?