22 Questions to Drive Your College Tour Guide Nuts

22 Questions to Drive Your College Tour Guide Nuts

By Kathryn_Williams

The college tour is a rite of passage for many high school students looking to pick a college out of the higher education heap. There are many things to consider: location, professor-to-student ratio, attractiveness of the student body (student body—hehe).

The official school tour is supposed to address these matters, and shed some light on questions you didn't even know you had (the library was built in 1892; one of our graduates invented Cheez Whiz!). And the tour guide is your living, breathing, polo shirt-wearing 20 Questions ball. Whatever the reason—you're bored, you're getting back at your parents for making you come on this stupid tour, you're ensuring your non-acceptance—you may find yourself wanting to have a little fun with your tour guide. Easy enough, by sprinkling in a few of these questions:

  1. What is the school's stance on public nudity?
  2. How tall are you?
  3. How late could I get a calzone delivered on a Tuesday night?
  4. What schools did you not get into?
  5. How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
  6. You kind of look like me. Can I have your ID?
  7. How many carbs are in the cafeteria's blueberry bagel?
  8. How many days did it rain on campus last year? How does that compare to the five-year average?
  9. What is the school's stance on "borrowing" often-used reference books from the library?
  10. Does your basketball team like losing so much?
  11. How susceptible is that 130-year-old oak tree to herbicide?
  12. What are the easiest classes I could take?
  13. How many bathrooms are there on campus?
  14. Ok, what do you seriously do for fun?
  15. What is the school's stance on pranks involving livestock? Pranks involving large amounts of imitation Jello?
  16. How hard would it be for me to petition to change the school colors?
  17. What dorm do you live in, so I can make sure to request a room next door?
  18. What is the school's policy on open flames?
  19. Tell me more about the Chess Club.
  20. How easily do credits here transfer to better schools?
  21. Well, why don't you know? Isn't that your job?
  22. Exactly how much do you get paid to do this?

Ever been on a college tour? Helpful or painful?

Related post: A Much-Too-Honest College Tour

Topics: college, college visits, college tours, tour guide

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