Be Careful: Spring is Dangerous
Courtney Guth is sick—sick of studying when she could be ogling s0ccer players instead. Guuurl, we hear you! —Sparkitors
In a recent lecture, my Shakespeare Professor exclaimed, “spring is a dangerous time—it makes you want to copulate and populate. Beware of this weather!” While the weather isn’t necessarily causing me to want to multiply like rabbits (I’ll blame that on Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s recent visit to my campus!), it is causing one particular problem: a lack of focus. It appears lack of focus…where was I? Oh right. Focus.
The beautiful weather is making it nearly impossible to concentrate on my studies. With only three more works left in the semester, this may be a slight problem. I have three final papers, a group project, a public service announcement, and a persuasive speech, but I just can’t seem to retain the focus that I need to power through these remaining weeks. As I sit cooped up in my dorm room, I can see the sun shining through the window, and I can feel it’s warm rays on my skin. I hear my fellow students playing outside as I slave over those last final papers and projects. A warm breeze rolls in, and the smell of spring wafts through the air—unfortunately I am unable to smell it because of my stupid allergies, but that’s beside the point. The main issue is that with all the beauty surrounding me, my ability to complete my work is quickly deteriorating.
I frequently find myself slipping into that land of carefree daydreams and spring and summertime fantasies filled with warm sunny beaches, cool lemonade, and a nice big pile of books. Then reality hits and I’m brought back to the world of looming due dates, dreary dorm rooms, and required reading. If only I could just fast forward and be done with this semester. I didn’t have this issue last semester, but that’s probably because it ended with snowstorms and freezing cold temperatures. Sundresses are so much more distracting than wooly coats, hats and scarves.
Clearly this weather is affecting my peers in the same manner. It seems lack of focus is highly contagious and spreading rapidly throughout my campus. It’s becoming an epidemic, far worse than the Black Plaque or Swine Flu. Everywhere I look, students are suffering, and by suffering I mean they’re completely enjoying all of this wonderful weather. Contrary to popular belief, sun tanning and frolicking on the lawn aren’t very tortuous. Oh how I long to join them. Perhaps I could forgo studying outside and journey outdoors for my reading. However, with my terrible allergies and all the shirtless college boys playing soccer I doubt I would get any work done.
Until then I seem to have a fever: spring fever. Side effects may include lowered letter grades, longing for the outdoors, sudden urges to frolic, and a random need for daises. Unfortunately the only prescription is more cowbell sweet springtime freedom, and that’s a long three weeks away.
Are you suffering from the fever?