Opposite of Me (College Roommate Taylor Swift Parody)

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We're all for singing your feelings instead of just saying them, dac213!  It's very Glee. —Sparkitors

First, let me say that I am not narcissistic; it’s just that my college had us fill out a roommate questionnaire, supposedly to give us roommates we’d be compatible with. So I have no idea how I got a roommate who loves Taylor Swift and The Notebook when I like B.o.b. and Gladiator.

It’s not that I wanted a clone, I actually think that would be annoying, but from what I can tell we have NOTHING in common. What am I even going to talk about with her? And what was the point of taking the quesstionnaire if I was going to be assigned someone truly random?

Also, she never answered my Facebook message, which is just rude. I also want to make it clear that I am in no way a Taylor Swift fan, but in honor of my new roommate, I’ve written this parody of her song “You Belong With Me.”

I’m on the computer, ‘bout to check my college e-mail
If it’s not The Message, this is a fail
Yes, here it is, the name of my room—mate

I go on Facebook and add her as a friend
She confirms, time to creep her profile and
Oh no, we might have a prob¬lem

She likes sports, I don’t know why
Her taste in movies makes me wanna cry
What if, the worst, we get to school and I find
That she hates Harry Potter and loves Twi¬light?!

If you knew me and you saw her Facebook info
You would know for sure, how I know
That she-eee-eeee
Is the exact opposite of me [opposite of me]

I need to look at that roommate questionnaire
Can’t remember what music I put on there
But I know I never put country ‘cause
I hate that type of music

And this girl actually likes the Jonas Brothers
Seriously? Time to commiserate with my mother
She better not put up a bunch of posters
Oh gosh, what if she has one of Justin Bieber?!

Is there a vaccine for Bieber Fever?
I think I need to call my doctor
‘Cause there is no way, that I am gonna catch
A love of bad music, I’m sticking with rap!

If you knew me and you saw her Facebook info
You would know for sure, how I know that she
Is the exact opposite of me

She hasn’t listed any favorite books
What if she doesn’t read? I can’t look
Oh pleeee-eee-ease!
She’s the exact opposite of me [opposite of me]

Checking out our dorm, no closet it’s a ward-robe
I hope for both our sakes she doesn’t bring too many clothes
Because I see that her hometown is further away than mine
Don’t wanna have to drive home for fresh clothes every night

Now can you see why I might need a new roommate?
Bad luck just seems to be my fate
Oh plee-ee-ease!
She is the exact opposite of me

Wondering how long until I can switch
When we meet hope she is not a !@#$%
Or ell-ell-ell-else
I’ll be moving house

If you knew me you’d know
That she
Is the exact opposite of me
Opposite of me

Did anyone else get a roommate who seems to be the opposite on paper?

Related Post: Blogging Taylor Swift: Mine