Faye's off to college! And she's almost done blogging the ultimate college prep guide, THE NAKED ROOMMATE. —Sparkitors
There’s a kind of phenomenon that only occurs from middle to late August. It’s triggered when a person looks at a calendar or is told the date, and is followed by confusion, denial, and the statement “Holy crap, there’s no way it’s August 22nd,” or the like. This person’s thoughts soon become scrambled as the try to remember everything they forgot to do over the summer while realizing they’re so screwed.
I’m thinking Harlan Cohen wrote chapters 12 and 13 of the Naked Roommate during this time period because they just reek of massive cramming and mild freak outs. So many topics, so little time: scholarships, credit cards, books, food, laundry, the dreaded Freshman 15, depression, eating disorders, sexual assault, transferring, safety, diversity, addiction, commuting, community college, does your head hurt from all the cram yet?
There’s no way I’m covering all that since I’d like to keep my sanity and I have a To-do list of things to do with the only item crossed off being “Make To-Do List.” So screwed. So here’s my five favorite topics from the cram chapters:
Free money! Woo! Harv isn’t kidding about there being money out there for people who want it and are willing to work for it. Heads up to high school seniors—start writing those scholarship essays now. When it’s November and you’re piled with school work and the whole application process, you will have no motivation to add another essay on top of that. Trust me. And there are scholarships for everything, so if you look hard enough, you’ll find money.
Somebody somewhere is becoming filthy rich off the textbook industry. $273.35 for ONE book. That’s my most expensive book this semester, anyone beat it? Harv suggests buying your books used, although the used price for my Chemistry book is still $200!
I know it’s awful, but I don’t know how to do the laundry. I’m a bad person. There are just so many rules: Lights and darks separate, cold water, not cold water, never red and white. And this is probably a silly question, but am I supposed to stay and watch my laundry? How long does laundry take? Gah! Help please!
I am determined not to gain the Freshman 15. To those of you not hip and cool to the college lingo (i.e. my parents), that’s the 15 pounds that Freshman gain when they get to college and realize that they can eat pizza for every meal of every day for the next 9 months.
I admit: I have a french-fry addiction. I also have a fast metabolism, so the two have sort of canceled each other out. Of course, there are a whole lot more opportunities to eat french fries and other delicious junk foods in college, and I have no idea if my metabolism will keep up, so I’m going to become athletic (or at least that’s the plan). I’m thinking of doing dance—I heard Zumba’s fun—so we’ll see how that goes.
Harv says the same thing your mom has been saying to you since you were five: Use the buddy system, don’t walk around alone at night, and don’t take candy from a stranger dressed as a clown in the back of a van, regardless of how legit the whole thing seems. Bad idea. Since I’m kind of a weakling it wouldn’t hurt if I took a self defense class, too.
And that’s it! It was so awesome hearing that a few of you Sparklers are with me on the whole “No drinking or random hook-ups just because we‘re in college and we can” mindset. To celebrate, I suggest we all get drunk and have sex! Just kidding.
One more chapter to go, and right now I‘m officially going off to college! Anybody else freaking out?
Let's talk textbook prices and laundry. Help Faye in the comments! (And check back tomorrow for her final Naked Roommate post!)
Related posts: Blogging the Naked Roommate