How to Make Your College Visit into an EPIC ADVENTURE

How to Make Your College Visit into an EPIC ADVENTURE

By Contributor

Carmen Margaret doesn't want you to have a humdrum, run-of-the-mill college tour—she wants shizz to get KUH-RAY-ZEE.—Sparkitors

Here's the deal. When you're a senior in high school, it's usually a good idea to do senior-like things. You might want to apply to a couple of colleges, look at some scholarship opportunities, and have the occasional meltdown where you hyperventilate into a paper bag, curl up in the fetal position, and rock back in forth while breaking into spastic sobs. You know, the usual. You'll probably also decide to visit some esteemed universities, an activity which actually can be sort of fun—if you make it that way. Here are some steps for turning a college visit into an awesome adventure:

1. Find the Food: This rule actually applies to pretty much every single scenario you'll ever encounter, not just college visits.  And it's really more common sense than an actual rule. But whatever, I'm putting it here for your benefit. Where there's food, there's fun. Likewise, where there's fun, there's usually food—which is why there are pretzels and cupcakes at most social events. Most colleges have cafeterias where food is cooked. But don't eat that stuff. It's gross. Go find a quality restaurant where the cook washes their hands frequently and the waiters are pleasant.

2. Visit the college with a friend or a really cool parent: That way you can do fun things like play Extreme Collegiate Hide and Seek (the "Collegiate" makes it extra classy) and sword fight with Collegiate sticks.

3. Go around and marvel at all of the Collegiate things:
Example: "Wowzers! Look at that collegiate rock! It's so college-y and smart. I've never seen such an intelligent rock!"
"ZOMG! Do you see that collegiate bathroom? It just oozes information and knowledge." (Note: remind me to never use the words "bathroom" and "oozes" in the same paragraph ever again. Ever.)

4. Take a tour. And then take your own tour. Tours are awesome. You state your name, year, and hometown. You traipse around campus with strangers and learn things about the college that you could have read on their website. But you can't really experience the campus until you do it on your own time. So after the official tour, knock around campus a little. Explore. I'm not sure if this is exactly legal, so don't get caught!!!!! (EXCLAMATION POINTS)!!!!!

5. Focus on your tour guide's idiosyncrasies: They're really fun to mimic.

6. Take the day off: College tours usually take around 2-3 hours. So technically, you don't have to miss school. Technically. But it just makes the day tengoogleplexia times more fantastic if you do.

7. Eat Noodles: Noodles are pretty tasty, so... I don't think this really needs an explanation. Chopsticks should be involved.

Chopsticks: check. Illegal exploration: check. Collegiate stick fights: double-check. What do you do to make your college tours EPIC?

Related post: A Much-Too-Honest College Tour

Topics: guides, college, cafeterias, funny things, college tours, how to, campus tours, tour guides, college campuse

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