15 Things You Can Do When Your Roommate Goes Home for the Weekend
Maybe you're best friends with your roommate, or maybe you're planning to smother them in their sleep and just need to pick out the perfect pillow. Either way, there's something curiously liberating about having the dorm room to yourself when they go home for the weekend. Suddenly doors open up, you can finally do all the stuff you didn't even realize you couldn't do before.
1. Eat whatever you want without thinking, "She's judging me. She's judging me so hard. Plenty of people eat six entire pizzas with a side of fudge cake, okay? ENOUGH WITH THE JUDGMENTAL STARE!"
2. Watch your guilty pleasure shows. (My Little Pony, anyone? No? Just me? I ONLY DID IT BECAUSE OF ALEX DAY!)
3. Talk to yourself. Release your inner crazy. Have whole conversations with yourself and engage in spirited debates on the merits of My Little Pony. (It was just the one episode, I swear. It's not like I have a favorite pony. Okay, okay, it's Fluttershy.)
4. Listen to whatever music you want. WITHOUT USING HEADPHONES.
5. Have a raging one-person dance party. WITHOUT WEARING PANTS.
6. In fact, do lots of things without wearing pants. Watch TV. Eat some cereal. Make a few phone calls.
7. Do a one-person, five-act play. About murderous cantaloupes. In the fourteenth century. (Trust me, it'll be a hit for the audience of assembled stuff animals and random appliances.)
8. Do the one-person, five-act play without wearing pants.
9. Leave clothes on the floor with reckless abandon instead of making that hasty, I'll-get-to-this-later pile.
10. Leave your stuff on their side of the room just for the pleasure of leaving your stuff on their side of the room.
11. Sing. Sing loud and proud.
12. Skype with your friends and dish out all the inside jokes that are weirdly inappropriate when taken out of context.
13. Look at all your roommate's stuff.
14. Actually, don't do that. You wouldn't want to violate the sacred covenant between roommates. In the name of preserving said sacred covenant... rearrange all their stuff instead and see if they notice.
15. Go to bed WHENEVER YOU DAMN WELL PLEASE.
What's your favorite thing to do when your roomie goes home for the weekend?