The Year of Faye

The Year of Faye

By Contributor

Faye's back with some New Year's resolutions and a refresher course on the all-too-confusing World of Boy. Are you ready for the Year of Faye? —Sparkitors

It’s official: 2012 is the Year of the Faye. Well, I just made that up, but this is going to be my year!

New Year’s resolutions:

1) Get a two-pack. You know, like a six pack of abs...except I just want two of them.

2) Dye my hair. I think I’d look super edgy with a streak of blue or purple, and it would help me with my last resolution, which is...

3) Date a rock star. I made that one up in the spur of the moment at a concert over break, but it sounds fun, right?

So far, I’ve bought some workout clothes. There's one step in the right direction!

I’ve been back at school for a week now. (Yes, I believe my college has the shortest winter break EVER). Since I got back, I’ve been pondering one of life’s big questions: Why is there not a sitcom about my life? There should be one, and it needs to be called “Faye and Her Boys.” Creative, right? So here’s the premise: Faye, her fake boyfriend JB, and Ash (the guy she likes) spend their college days getting into all sorts of shenanigans. In one episode, Faye is sandwiched between the boys on a giant beanbag chair, aptly named “the lovesack,” while playing video games. Next episode, Faye and the boys go to Target, where the boys refuse to enter the makeup aisle in an attempt to maintain their masculinity. In the holiday special, the boys both get Faye a present (a poster of Joseph Gordon-Levitt and a video game), making Faye feel like a bad person because no one told her they were exchanging gifts.

Reading the previous week’s comments, two things are abundantly clear: 1) Sparkler imwithfluffy and I might be romcom soul mates (if you haven’t seen He’s Just Not That Into You you should do that NOW) and 2) No one can agree on what I should do about Ash. There are those who fall into the “OMG, whatever you do, do not tell Ash you like him!” group. There’s also the “OMG, why have you not told Ash you like him already?” group. And then there’s me in the “OMG, I have no idea” pity party group.

Things are…complicated. I feel like Ash likes me. We’re always together. We have class together. We eat together. When class is over, we’ll be in my room doing homework together. Ash constantly steals my pillow and naps on my floor. I’ve started poking him in the abs and leaning my head on his shoulder. We joke about how madly in love we are. The other day, I told him he needs to watch He’s Just Not That Into You, because it’s full of incredibly important information. This conversation followed...

Me: “For example, if a guy likes you, he’s going to ask you out.”

Ash: “That’s not true, what about shy guys?”

Me: “Shy guys are just a myth.”

Ash: “Okay, well what about if a guy is unsure?”

Me: “Uhh, I don’t know. They didn’t mention that in the movie.”

I think that Ash thinks that he likes me, but he doesn’t want to do anything about it because he either thinks that I don’t like him back, or he’s afraid that he’s going to mess things up. Basically, Ash is thinking the same thing I’m thinking. There’s also the whole “floorcest” thing, which brings me to this week’s college fact.

College Fact #12: Floorcest: it’s not illegal, just frowned upon. Our floor already has an adorable couple—Mickey and Minnie. They go on Costco dates. When Mickey broke his leg, Minnie nursed him back to health. Everybody loves them together. The thing that’s so bad about floorcest is if/when they break up, things could get awkward. And I think that’s what Ash is trying to avoid.

And now, a side note for some academic things and cheesy-but-true college advice. First semester grades came in, and you’ll never believe this: I got an A+ in Calculus! Yeah, I don’t know how it happened. Seriously, I was failing for two-thirds of the semester and then BAM, A+. I did pretty well in my other classes, too. So here’s what I learned from my first semester of college:

At some point, someone will push you to the ground and kick you repeatedly until you get back up. This will suck. What you have to realize is sometimes the person kicking you is the one you need to ask for help from. Sometimes you need to say, “Hey, I screwed up. I need help.” And that’s incredibly difficult to do if, say, you’re used to being the smartest kid in the class... but it's also totally worth it.

*Yawn* I need to add “sleep more” to my New Year’s resolutions.

Sleep is for the weak,

Faye :)

Should Faye add "Kiss Ash" to her resolutions?

Related posts: Sleep Is For the Weak

Topics: sparkler posts, college, dating, crushes, freshman year, boys, secret crushes, guys, he's just not that into you, faye, sleep is for the weak

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