Dear Auntie Sparknotes,
I joined a sorority a few weeks ago (my school has deferred recruitment) and I'd been really nervous that I wouldn't get accepted to one, since I'm really not that stereotypical sorority girl. But I still wanted to join, and I got called back to one -- only one, but that's okay since I really like them -- and things worked out great. I was really excited about it.
At least, that's how I was feeling until I started hearing some stuff. Some other people and I were joking about the reputations of certain sororities, and they were saying some of them are supposed to be sluts, etc. I heard one person say that my sorority was the "reject sorority." That didn't bother me too much at the time, but it's still nagging on me a little, I'll be honest. And I couldn't help but notice that on my floor (the honors floor) my sorority accepted a lot of girls, while other sororities didn't. A guy I talked to said that my sorority had apparently had a really low GPA last year and probably wanted to raise it, so they accepted a lot of honors kids (we have to keep our GPAs above 3.5, so they're almost guaranteed to raise their average GPA).
I know it's dumb to worry about rumors like this, but I still can't shake the feeling that I've gotten into a sorority because of my GPA, not because of anything else, and it's starting to make me feel, just a little bit, like a loser. Can you help me feel better about this whole thing? I Just want to go back to being excited about my new sorority, not worried about its reputation or why I got in in the first place.
Well, in that case—just for starters—you might want to stop taking as gospel the gossipy shenanigans of uninformed people. Because for real, anyone who unironically claims that certain college sororities are inherently slutty should immediately have his or her Being Taken Seriously privileges rescinded until... oh, probably the end of time. Or in other words, whoever made that "reject" comment, you already know that he's given to making uninformed and unflattering generalizations about people he doesn't know. And allowing that person to be the deciding voice in determining the worthiness of your sorority and/or your membership in it makes about as much sense as getting all your news from the Onion. Or asking your computer-illiterate great-grandma about internet memes. Or convening a panel discussion on hormonal birth control that doesn't include a single female witness.
You know, among other things that make absolutely no motherfranking sense.
So, for starters, file the opinions of your resident shizz-shoveling gossips into the mental "spam" folder in which they belong. And then, we can talk about your sorority, and sororities at large, and why how and why you got into yours just really, really, really doesn't matter.
Because at the end of the day, this is what the sorority application process is: a whole lot of people trying to make the greatest possible impression in an extremely limited amount of time. And if you're worried that you got selected on some kind of silly, surface basis, well, guess what: you did. Because everyone does. Everyone! And if you hadn't gotten picked because of your high GPA, it would've just happened for some other, equally superficial reason—because rushing a sorority is an inherently superficial process, in which you invite people you don't know well, and who don't know you, to snap-judge your compatibility from within a huge pool of applicants based on a handful of interactions. And as for the sororities themselves, they don't have the time to plumb the most profound emotional depths of your soul in order to determine your compatibility with their organization, even if they wanted to. All they can do is use the information they do have to try and select pledges who will be the most compatible with, and the best asset to, their existing membership.
So, does this mean you got in because of your high GPA? Well, okay, let's say you did. And... who cares? There are worse things to be valued for than your smarts, and more important things to worry about than which of your most obvious traits was the one that got your foot in the door—especially when it's the door of a sorority that you yourself liked instantly and thought was perfect for you. And which now has the privilege of finding out that you're not just booksmart, but awesome and interesting and a wonderful friend. Right? Right! Now get excited! Because lady, you're going to have so much fun.
Have you ever worried about the rep of your sorority, or why you got in? Tell us in the comments! And to get advice from Auntie, email her at firstname.lastname@example.org.