Talie's Immersion Blender Disaster

Talie's Immersion Blender Disaster

By Contributor

Talie has had a pretty tough weekend. On the plus side, she's also one small step closer to being Captain Hook. Was it worth it? You be the judge. —Sparkitors

Hello, Sparkle-fairies. I did it. I saw the most AMAZING musical in the history of infinity and beyond. Which means that I also crossed off Number 27 (See a Broadway Play) off of the Bucket List!

What amazing musical did Talie see, you may ask? LES MISERABLES, aka The Soundtrack of My Life.

Okay, well I didn’t technically see the play on Broadway. BUUUUUT the Traveling Broadway Cast came to town (it counts: it has “Broadway” in the title). And it was amazing. I had to literally hold myself back so I wouldn’t run up on stage and propose to Marius every time he opened that beautiful mouth of his. A plan involving how to figure out where the cast was staying so I could ask Jean Valjean to sing me to sleep forever was forming in my mind. And Enjolras? Every time he sang, somewhere a baby with perfect pitch was born. I was only half-conscious throughout the whole thing on account of the fact that I half-swooned about every second.

By intermission, I was practically hyperventilating in a brown paper bag. The ability to form complete sentences had left me. Yes, it really was THAT beautifully, superbly amazing. Needless to say, I was blubbering like a baby by the end of the show. Every single member of the cast did a stunning job portraying their characters. Seriously, guys, if you’re going to see only one musical in your entire life, SEE LES MIS. You won't regret it.

Surprisingly, that wasn’t the most exciting event of my week. In fact, I wouldn’t simply call what happened an “event.” I think “accident” is a more accurate word. Or perhaps “disaster.” Which brings me to The Greatest Immersion Blender Disaster of Talie’s Young Life.

Let me begin my explaining what an immersion blender is. It’s basically this stick with a spinning blade at the bottom. Oh, and there’s this SUPER SENSITIVE button that you press to make the blade spin. On Saturday I was using said blender to make a delicious breakfast smoothie for myself when something got stuck in the spinning blade of doom. In a moment where apparently all logic had somehow left my body, I decided to stick my finger in between the blade and try to get it out. WITH MY OTHER HAD ON THE SUPER SENSITIVE BUTTON. WITH THE IMMERSION BLENDER PLUGGED IN.

Well, I think you guys can guess what happened next. A little pressure on the button and BAM. My previously normal finger was filleted. That thing was TORN UP. So I put it under some cold water and frantically called for my mother. The rest is kind of a blur, but I vaguely remember getting into the car to get to the emergency room. Oh, and I completely remember saying to my mother, “Well, I’ll finally get to go inside the hospital!”

Luckily, we live literally five seconds away from a hospital. So we rushed in, and the guy at the front desk took one look at me and got me a wheelchair. I was delighted, considering I’ve never sat in a wheelchair before. Then the pain from my finger hit me like a headdesk on a desk made out of sharp metal SPIKES. My mom wheeled (WHEELED!!) me into a room, followed by a nurse who was asking me all sorts of questions. I then received a TB shot, which was by far the least painful incision of the day.

Then we had to wait for the doctor. It felt like an ETERNITY, even though my parents informed me that it only took a couple of minutes. Then the doctor FINALLY came in, looked at my finger and said “oh, wow.” Which, naturally, didn’t inspire much confidence. I thought my mother was going to pass out in the corner.

The doc informed us that I needed to get stitches right away, so he numbed me up and went to work. During his little sewing project, the doctor told me that it was pretty gory. As if that was going to make me feel better. In all, I got 11 stitches. The stitches were the worst part. Well, besides the doctor telling me that I almost lost my finger, which cause Mommy Dearest to half-faint in her chair. After that, a perfectly lovely nurse cleaned up all of the blood and splinted my finger.

It was then when I realized I was terribly hungry and asked my dad if we could please go to Chick-fil-A. He looked at me like I was crazy, so I guess that my first reaction after the whole ordeal was supposed to be slightly less food-oriented. But I figured that after all I went through I DESERVED SOME CHICK-FIL-A.

I’m sure it was quite a sight for the people working drive-through to see a girl with a giant splint on her finger with a blood-splattered shirt and a shell-shocked dad picking up a spicy chicken sandwich.

After that, it’s all a blur of watching TV and napping, due to the heavy-duty painkillers that I was taking.

But now I can sympathize with Captain Hook, due to the fact that I can’t really use my left had because of the RIDICIOUSLY GIANT splint on my finger. The lesson to be learned here is to never use immersion blenders. JUST DON’T USE THEM. Or else, you’ll end up looking like this:

Look at me. I look like a deranged cross between a T-rex and Captain Hook. I must’ve been on painkillers, because I have no recollection of taking that picture.

Unfortunately, I do believe that I’ll be unable to use my uke for while. Sad face.

Talie :)

Any tips for Talie while she's all bandaged up?

Related Post: Blogging My Bucket List

Topics: sparkler posts, emergencies, hospitals, talie, blogging my bucket list, blenders

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