Faye had her first "fight" with Ash AND proved the effectiveness of shop-therapy, all in one weekend! We'd call that a success. —Sparkitors
I think Ash and I had our first fight.
It all started when Ash enacted a self-imposed exile from my room last week. He thought it would be a good idea if we didn’t spend every waking moment together—which is a good idea, in theory. We could each have "me-time" during the week and "us-time" during the weekends. Except when you live on the same floor, it’s hard to have “me-time” without looking like you’re completely ignoring the other person. I knew that Ash wasn’t actually ignoring me, but I felt lonely nonetheless. It didn’t help that I was beginning to feel distant from my girlfriends as well. So I overreacted—I made big plans with the girls for the weekend, hoping to show Ash that two could play his “I don’t need you game.” I know that doesn’t make sense, but love is like pi: it’s irrational.
So when Ash and I were cuddling on my bed last Friday night (technically Saturday morning) after girl-time, I brought up a question one of the girls had asked which was bothering me.
“Do you think it’s weird that we never go anywhere?”
“Yeah, kind of.”
“Seriously? But we go out to eat all the time!”
“Food doesn’t exactly count as a date.”
And then we started talking about when we could actually have “real” dates, and it came back to the week being “me-time” and the weekend being “us-time.” My problem was that “real” dates take a long time—food is quick and easy, but a date can take up half a Saturday. If I were to split my Saturdays between Ash and the girls, then I’d have no time to do homework, leaving me with an awful full day of work on Sundays. I had always considered the weekends as my time to relax, to not have twenty things going on at once, and I didn’t like the idea of losing that.
So we talked about it. It wasn’t what you’d expect in a fight: there wasn’t any yelling or accusations, and neither of us got angry. Even though I felt like I was making things worse with everything I said, Ash wanted me to keep talking. We were cuddled up on my bed the entire time, but we were frustrated and upset at the end of the night since we still hadn’t figured out what “us-time” and “me-time” meant, and when they should happen.
I went shopping with the girls on Saturday, and it was exactly what I needed. Shop-therapy really works. I proposed the brilliant idea I came up with to Ash when we got back.
“What do you think of Fridays?”
“I’m a fan of Fridays.”
“Ok, well what if Friday became “us-time”? We’re both done at 1, so we have plenty of time to go somewhere. And that still leaves me the rest of the weekend if I need it, so I won’t be stressed about not having enough time to get my work done or hang out with the girls, or whatever!”
“Huh, I like it!”
And this week’s “me-time” wasn’t so bad, since Ash didn’t take it to the extreme—we still hung out in my room, just less. We’re still all lovey-gooey, holding hands, making out when I should be doing physics, that sort of thing. And I learned something:
College Fact #19: Having a boyfriend is sort of like having a new puppy.
Yes, a puppy is adorable and you want to spend lots of time playing with it. But you also have to take care of the puppy and that could take up a lot of time, too. While you don’t have to potty train your boyfriend, you can’t just eat lunch in Panera once a week and call that a date. Sometimes you have to get on a bus and explore downtown … which isn’t exactly an awful thing at all, especially when you’re with your boyfriend.
In other news, Spring Break is next week, and I’m so excited!
Sleep is for the weak,
What do you think of "us-time" and "me-time"? Have you ever had to split time between your friends and your more-than-friends?
Related Post: Sleep is for the Weak
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