The Seven Commandments of College Dating
Faye has come out of the library to bless us with some good dating how-NOT-tos. —Sparkitors
And behold: Faye came out of the library to take a break from finals studying and said, “Let the students come to college, and may they be fruitful in their studies, but also do other things as well.” Then it was as Faye said—everything was awesome and there was plentiful college dating. And so Faye laid down the Seven Commandments of College Dating because she couldn’t come up with three more to make a whole ten.
The Seven Commandments of College Dating:
1. Thou shall not take thy girlfriend to the dining hall as a date.
2. Thou shall not canoodle in the library. Seriously, people are trying to study here.
3. Thou shall not sexile thy roommate. Not cool.
4. Thou shall not hold hands and walk really slowly. People have places to be.
5. Honor thy friends and previous obligations.
6. Thou shall do cute college things together like play Frisbee on the quad.
7. Thou shall not be dependent on each other, but rather be two awesome people who are even more awesome together.
Then a great light shone from above. Faye called this light “the sun” and retreated once more into the darkness and misery that is the library right before finals.
Time for the Couple Crush of the Week!
This week, we have two couple crushes…except they’re not exactly couples, and we’re definitely not crushing on them. They’re more cautionary tales against random college hookups if anything. First there’s Britney and Kevin. Britney and Kevin are sort-of dating. They occasionally sleep in each other’s rooms and can be seen being extra friendly around the dorm. Kevin has also been seen making out with other girls at parties. And then there's Jessica and Nick, who are “just friends” now after Nick kicked Jessica out of his apartment one night because he didn’t want his roommates to see she slept over. They have crossed the “just friends” line multiple times since then. I don’t get random hookups: you don’t get to do any of the fun couple things, plus there’s a whole lot more heartache.
And having a boyfriend is just plain awesome.
Well, most of the time anyway. For example, last week was good, then bad, then good again. On Friday, Ash and I had a '90s date night (Awww, I know). After class we got Chinese and then went to the movies to see Titanic… in 3D! And it was awesome… in 3D! I warned Ash halfway through that I might be in love with Leonardo Dicaprio. Of course I was bawling my eyes out by the end; Ash says even he teared up. On Saturday we went to a baseball game. I’m not a baseball fan, but I do enjoy overpriced stadium food. Plus there were fireworks, so I was happy.
When we got back from the game, I mentioned something offhand about this one guy being cute, but didn’t think too much about it. A lot of the time when I say a guy is cute, it doesn’t mean that I like him, I’m just acknowledging a fact, like when I say another girl is pretty. Ash didn’t take it that way though.
Ash: “Look, I’m gonna sound like a jerk, but can you NOT tell me if you think another guy is cute?”
Me: “Yeah, sure.”
College Dating Rule #4: Don’t tell your boyfriend that you think another guy is cute. This one sounds like a given, but it’s something you might not even think about. If you’re out with your girlfriends and you see a cute guy, you’re pretty much obligated to report a cute guy spotting. Except, your boyfriend isn’t one of your girlfriends: he doesn’t enjoy getting his nails painted, eating an entire roll of raw cookie dough with you, or hearing about the cute guy you saw at the mall. And if Ash was saying another girl was cute, I’d probably get pissed off too.
Ash was angry for the rest of the night (despite claiming not to be), but I’m pretty sure he forgave me and he’s been in a good mood all week because our Pokémon Red and Blue versions are working. He wants to play them now, but I keep telling him he needs to wait until the summer. Which really isn’t that long to wait because it’s just 2 WEEKS AWAY! We still don’t know what we’re doing with this whole long distance thing, though. I mean, it’s 4 months apart…and we’ve only been dating for 3. So Sparklers (especially those who have been in LDR’s), I need some advice. Besides embarking on our mutual quest to “catch them all,” how can Ash and I keep our relationship going when we’re hundreds of miles away from each other? Any suggestions?
Have you ever been in a LDR? Got any advice?
Related Post: College Dating Rules
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