Have you ever had that moment when you’re being chased by intimidating henchmen of a top-secret branch of the government in their top-secret lab? And suddenly you hit a dead end and you realize you're a goner?
BUT THEN you realize that you have your trusty handgun (named Helga, because that sounds intimidating) and you can totes shoot up all the giant henchmen trying to smash you to molecule-sized bits. You know what I’m talking about?
Yeah, me neither. But it’s comforting to know that if I were ever in said situation, I’d totally survive. Why, you may ask? Well, LET ME TELL YOU… I completed numero 17: Learn how to shoot a gun.
It finally happened, Sparklers. And it was so EMPOWERING. It was like “HECK YEAH I can totally beat the crap out of someone!!”
This journey to my inner-Katniss all started when some of my friends and I decided to go up to the mountains to participate in general shenanigans and tomfoolery. We know a dude who has this farm/ranch-y thing going on up there, so we stopped by to say hi and see what was going down. It was a good thing we decided to go, because he was like, “Hey, you guys wanna shoot some guns?” To which we responded with a fervent “DUH.”
So there I was, in the middle of the mountains, slinging a gun over my shoulder and shooting stuff. Due to the fact that I had never touched a gun in my life, I had to start with a BB gun. It was a little demeaning, but I figured that Legolas probably didn’t start out with that giant, manly bow and arrow. His elfish-daddy probably made him start out with a Little Tikes toy bow and arrow when his luscious blond locks only reached to his shoulders. And, okay, it was WAY HARDER than I originally expected, but I eventually mastered the use of the BB gun.
BUT THEN it was finally time to use a REAL. RIFLE. GUN. I could literally feel the power from the gun pulsing through my body. It was majestically, magically awesome, and that was before I fired a shot. My male-friend coached me on how to hold it and aim and whatnot, and then BAM. I shot it. Of course, the bullet went nowhere near the target. But I didn’t let myself get discouraged; I just kept on shooting away whilst “Eye of the Tiger” was playing in my head. Finally I reached the point where I hit the target like an inch away from the bulls’ eye.
I’m like freakin’ Annie Oakley! And despite the fact that I’d be completely lost if I had to defend myself using a handgun, I take comfort in the fact that I could kick butt if I had a rifle. Or I could just throw the handgun in the general direction of the shooting and run away.
On a completely unrelated topic: I’m still learning how to play the ukulele. I don't really know very many songs yet. SO, do you guys want me to post more songs on YouTube? Because I feel awkward having videos of my face plastered on the internet, but I mean if you want me to, I TOTES will. Things are beginning to slow down on the college front, so I have more time.
Speaking of time, and college, and BOYS (it was implied), there’s a quite attractive male in my humanities class. And we met on Tuesday to “work on our projects,” but we spent the whole time talking. How long, you may ask? THREE AND A HALF HOURS. We quickly realized that we were the loudest ones in the library, so we left to take a walk and then he WALKED ME HOME. It was pretty dang cute. Anyway, I guess we’ll see where this one goes. I basically have a swooning/heart spazzing session every time I look at him, or his eyes, or his smile. It takes all my power to suppress the awkward tendencies around him that pretty much make up my life.
Suppress the awkward, Talie. SUPPRESS THE AWKWARD.
Have you ever shot a gun? Is it as awesome as Talie says?