Let me begin by explaining my three-week disappearance. Two words, Sparkle-cupcakes: FINALS WEEK. The one week out of the whole semester that somehow manages to bring out the worst in us whilst literally putting in the best in us… by consuming as much deliciously sugary food as humanly possible. Plus, for the two weeks before finals I had disgustingly giant fifteen-page research paper due at the end of the semester. Plus I had about 50 million other little monster papers due… just imagine a very bleary-eyed, frizzy-haired Talie walking around like a zombie on Tylenol PM. And don’t worry, I won’t disappear until finals week of the next semester.
Despite the craziness of the past three weeks, I still managed to cross something off the bucket list:
Numero 18: Write a nonsensical angst-y teenage song that’s really stupid and see if it becomes popular.
This one was pretty difficult, because I couldn’t think up of anything teenage angst-y occurring in my life. So I had to come up with a back-story:
Deidra was living a happy life with her husband, Fredigo, in the lush forestland of Narnia. Everything was going wonderfully; they just had octuplets (Deidra was the Octo-Mom of Narnia) and adopted a pet unicorn named Gordon. Unfortunately, King Peter announced that they were going to war, and that every able-bodied man had to enlist in the army. So Fredigo went off to war, leaving Deidra with Gordon the Unicorn and her hour-old octuplets. She waited every day with Gordon by her side, holding her eight screaming babies on her lap. Finally, Fredigo returned home missing his middle finger (which is a pretty specific injury, if you think about it) and the entire bottom half of his body. This is the song Deidra wrote in reaction to Fredigo’s return:
Who you once were is gone now,
I’m alone with your cruel mouth,
I go looking for the answers
And I’m coming back with doubt.
Maybe I’m like a unicorn,
Who dreams of life in a better world,
It’s hard not to break so easily,
When your words come crashing down on me.
We try to find the color,
In our lives of black and white,
So our universe is over run
With lies we can’t live without.
Don’t listen to what others say,
They try to take your light away,
I’ll bear all of the pain for you,
Despite the wounds you’ve cut.
Glass shatters all around me,
The ground breaks beneath my feet,
And when I see your empty eyes,
All I hear is my tears,
When you’re gone my world is dead,
Black waves are crashing in my head,
My heart is blank, the sun is numb,
My lungs can only freeze.
It’s nonsensical. It’s angsty. YEEHAW. In fact, it is so angsty that when I read it to my friend, she asked me if I was either depressed or going through an early mid-life crisis (the answer was no, by the way). But I bet y’all have noticed a couple of things. First of all, “Talie, there’s no chorus!” Yeah, yeah, I realized this. Also, “Yo, Tal-Tal, where’s the music part?” Despite my abundance of words, I am completely inept when it comes to writing music. And choruses, apparently. So I shall issue a challenge to any Sparklers who would like to participate!!!!
*Trumpets: DAAA DADADADA DAADAAAAA!!!* From this day forth, any brave Sparkler who wishes to complete the uncompleted, yet glorius, song of Deidra the Narnian will be rewarded with full credit by Talie, and will also become Talie’s biffle (best friend for life). Any Sparkler who desires to participate in said challenge can simply post a link to the completed song in the comments or in whatever other form he/she desires.
Now, I recognize that being my biffle isn’t the best reward for completing the uncompleted song of Deidra the Narnian, so I solemnly swear that I shall come up with something waaay better than being my biffle. Oh, AND I’ll put a video of the new and improved song on my YouTube channel, which is, much like my Instagram account, pathetically unused.
Please, please, PLEEAASEE assist Deidra in completing her song! For the sake of Gordon the Unicorn and Fredigo the Middle-Fingerless Man… and, ya know, for my sake too. I guess.
Good luck, and May the Odds Ever Be in Your Favor!!
Can you help Talie finish her song?