“She’s not my type,” is a fair way to avoid awful dates or explain why your sorry ass was dumped. But what is your type? More specifically, what is the very best type of woman?
Using nothing but science, we've calculated the fifty greatest varieties of girl.
1. Funny nerdy gymnast who works for Pixar and gets free tickets to stuff and has a Batman tattoo and a well-behaved shark.
2. Hilarious gymnast.
3. Nerdy artist with great sense of humor who doesn’t complain, roll her eyes, or mock you when you ask her simple Photoshop questions.
4. Open-minded mermaid.
5. Funny drummer.
7. Professional go kart racer.
8. Video game nerd who wears great hats and hilarious T-shirts that few people “get.”
9. Lion tamer. (If only because you'll get to introduce her to your friends as, “The lion tamer I was telling you about.”)
10. Funny doctor/dancer.
11. Smart, pretty girl who likes to have fun and doesn’t even own a cell phone or have a Facebook account.
12. Singer, but not songwriter.
14. Zooey Deschanel, but less so.
15. Athlete with cool nickname such as Hoops or Sex Fire.
16. Satirical chemist.
17. Writer who is not smug.
18. Smug writer.
19. Smug architect.
20. Funny architect.
21. Biker babe.
22. Boater babe.
23. Hot-air balloon babe.
24. Girl who thinks Harry Potter is overrated.
25. Theater nerd who knows when to tone it the hell down.
27. Cute girl who doesn’t know how cute she is and has a pool.
28. Yoga pants model.
29. Yoga pants wearer.
30. Owner of whimsical candy factory.
31. Someone who is good at both math and crime.
32. Courageous flutist.
33. Cult leader with a heart of gold.
34. Photographer with a heart of helium.
35. Knot expert.
36. Sexy bee keeper.
37. Nerdy cheerleader.
38. Nerdy seamstress who is willing to listen to our fashion ideas.
39. Poet. (Just kidding.)
40. Girl who will never yell in anger, “It’s not a turtle. It’s a tortoise!”
41. Trapeze artist.
42. Trapeze scientist.
43. Someone from Ireland.
45. The girl who sat next to you.
46. Future president.
47. Girl who, when asked what she wants to eat, will never respond with, “Whatever.”
48. Magical rapper.
49. Humorous pilot with British accent.
50. Sexy time traveler willing to risk it all for the sake of love.
Did we leave any out?