Terrible Pet Names for Your Girlfriend
With Valentine’s Day fast approaching, it’s time to dust off those romantic skills, gentlemen. This goes beyond the ubiquitous heart shaped box of chocolates and dozen roses. This is about how you carry yourself, how you look, and most importantly, how you treat your lady.
We’re talking details, guys! Even stuff that we don’t really think about can be the difference between an evening that you won’t forget, and evening that you wish you could. Take, for example, the “pet name.” There are good ones, and there are terrible ones. And, of course, we’re here to help you sort it all out.
The following is a list of pet names that you should probably avoid calling your girlfriend on Valentine’s Day… or ever, really.
Old Bag Pants
The Talky One
Cell Phone Sally
CEO of the Anti-Xbox Coalition
Her Majesty, the Queen of Shoes
Sephora’s Primary Shareholder
Soft ‘n Pliable
Ulysses S. Shut up
The Girl Scout Cookie Monster
Come to think of it, if you call your girlfriend any of these names, perhaps you need some time alone.
Did we miss any?