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Morning Announcements for January 26

Morning Announcements for January 26

By Josh Perilo

Good Morning, heathen hordes. Here are today’s announcements.

Lecture room C will remain closed today for cleanup and repair following last night’s PTA meeting. An inspection by Custodian Davies determined that there was no serious structural damage done by either the chairs that Mrs. Hauerbach hurled into the door, or the ripping of the partition wall from the foundation by Mr. Baker. We will, however, have to replace three rows of previously bolted down seats, the podium which was shattered into splinters, and the dry erase board. Also, the walls will be completely repainted due to bite marks and blood stains.

There is still space available for the First Annual Mid-Winter Sunrise Hayrack Ride and Outdoor Pilates Workshop. Actually, there’s quite a bit of space available. Like, all of it. side from the event’s organizers, Misty and Summer Bennington, no one else has signed up. Remember, though, if you are an idiot… sorry… what I meant to say was, if you are planning on signing up, try to pay the $45 registration fee up front. If you wait till the day of the event, or what I like to call “the easiest mistake you never have to make,” the fee will increase to $75. So, have fun out there. Morons.

The lunch menu today includes, but is not limited to: ulip sculpted cucumber ends, baked Nebraska, sunflower seed shell surprise, flaccid celery, poker chips au gratin, and twizzler puree.

And today’s inspirational quote comes from the great Mahatma Ghandi who once said “Well, if I’m calling you about my internet not working, then why do you think I’d be able to look online for help?”

That is all.

Tags: high school, school, morning announcements, life, funniest

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