For as much as is known about the dinosaurs of pre-history, there is a hundred times as much that we will never know. Millions of years of history have remained buried under our feet, and only very slowly are paleontologists carefully unearthing clues that begin to give us an idea of the type of world that these great creatures lived in.
Thanks to recent advances in modern science, we at The MindHut have learned about some of the lesser known dinosaurs that have gone undiscovered and overlooked until now. May we present to you the Little Known Dinosaurs of the Prehistoric World!
In the NeoLaptopstocene Era, many of the species of dinosaur that had come before were relying on networking primarily from landline based connections. These older and clunkier beasts, known as Desktoptosons, weren’t agile or quick witted enough to keep up with the newer animals that were taking over the landscape. And one great dinosaur quickly became the most powerful in this domain: the Wificerotops. The Wificerotops was certainly not the fastest or strongest of his kind. He couldn’t even really defend himself in any significant way. What he could do, however, was emit a really strong wifi signal. He was irreplaceable for the dinosaur on the go, and that alone assured that no one would ever mess with him. Because once you’ve found a free wifi connection, why would you want to hunt and eat it?
This great creature once roamed free across the open spaces that would one day become New Jersey. Now, the only thing that remains of these massive animals are their bones and petrified hair styles. As early as the Late Paleojohnfriedascian period, scientists began to see a rise in the hair styles of many area dinosaurs. The teasing of dinosaur hair with picks and combs made from Brontosaurus teeth and a sort of primordial styling gel harvested from the local tar pits became common among these ancient giants. By the end of the Early Bonjovian era, the Hairus Volumeoraptor had become the king of this domain with hair styles that sometimes topped out at forty feet.
Paleontologists are now discovering that dinosaur entertainment was a massive part of day to day life for many of these animals. There were shows and movies, some more popular than others, that garnered a passionate following, especially among the smaller group of dinosaurs that became obsessive about their fandom. These creatures, known as Fanboydons, generally kept to themselves but were a quick and wily. Emerging for the first time in the Mid Mesospielbergazoic period, these feisty little things had a voracious appetite for anything having to do with dinosaur fantasy (i.e. The Harry Pottosaurus series, The Carnivorous Hunger Games) and would often attend the DinoCon every year in costume.
The Parentosaurus family of dinosaurs ruled the ancient world for as long as they were in existence. Or, at least as long as their children lived under their roof. Of all the types of Parentosaurus there were, the one occasionally thought of as the scariest, and often times, the most annoying was the Parentosaurus Text. The P-Text was the king of all he (or she) surveyed, literally. They were incredibly fond of using their offspring’s cell phone’s as tracking devices to find out if they were really at the Volcanic Mud Pits like they said they would be. They would drive by their son or daughter’s work place to make sure they didn’t lie and actually go on a mastodon hunting trip, instead. And they would text, relentlessly. It is thought that later in life they would move to Florida and complain daily about the heat.
What dinosaurs did we miss?