We hate to assume, but we can only imagine there are plenty of Superbowl haters out there. What’s not to like about this All-American festival of sports, food, competition, and belching? We did some internet sleuthing, and found some very probable haters out there.
-People who work in grocery stores, since it’s really busy in the morning, then totally dead during the game, but they have to keep standing there in a cold, deli meat sweat, anyway.
-People whose birthday falls on Super Bowl Sunday.
-People whose anniversaries fall on Super Bowl Sunday.
-People who watch Downton Abbey, since new episodes are on Sunday nights. TV Guide writes, “'Downton Abbey’ continues with Matthew and William engaging in a fierce battle at the front, Vera striking a cruel blow against Bates and Anna, and Daisy facing the severest test of her life.” Sounds exciting. As exciting as the Super Bowl? Uh...
-Your pastor/priest/rabbi/etc. Fortunately the game is on pretty late this year, but a few too many people will still be absent, or at least praying about sports instead of more noble things. (What constitutes "noble things," we have no idea.)
-Anyone who has to drive home your Uncle Pete, since sports turns him into a raging lunatic.
-Your couch. It’s going to absorb a lot of sweat, farts, and Dorito stains. Well, it is!
-Your stomach. If only you could promise it that you won’t eat a block of cheese, tons of spicy chili, or any of that buffalo chicken dip your aunt makes that tastes like heaven but pretty much makes you wish you were dead a few hours later. But we just can’t make that promise, stomach.
That’s our roundup. Who or what can you think of that hates the Super Bowl?