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People and Things that Hate the Super Bowl

People and Things that Hate the Super Bowl

By Valerie Burn

We hate to assume, but we can only imagine there are plenty of Superbowl haters out there. What’s not to like about this All-American festival of sports, food, competition, and belching? We did some internet sleuthing, and found some very probable haters out there.

-Who hates the Super Bowl? This Packers fan. (And for good measure, this anti-Packers fan.)

-People who work in grocery stores, since it’s really busy in the morning, then totally dead during the game, but they have to keep standing there in a cold, deli meat sweat, anyway.

-Children who hate the Patriots.

-People whose birthday falls on Super Bowl Sunday.

-People whose anniversaries fall on Super Bowl Sunday.

-People who watch Downton Abbey, since new episodes are on Sunday nights. TV Guide writes, “'Downton Abbey’ continues with Matthew and William engaging in a fierce battle at the front, Vera striking a cruel blow against Bates and Anna, and Daisy facing the severest test of her life.” Sounds exciting. As exciting as the Super Bowl? Uh...

-Your pastor/priest/rabbi/etc. Fortunately the game is on pretty late this year, but a few too many people will still be absent, or at least praying about sports instead of more noble things. (What constitutes "noble things," we have no idea.)

-Anyone who has to drive home your Uncle Pete, since sports turns him into a raging lunatic.

-Your couch. It’s going to absorb a lot of sweat, farts, and Dorito stains. Well, it is!

-Your stomach. If only you could promise it that you won’t eat a block of cheese, tons of spicy chili, or any of that buffalo chicken dip your aunt makes that tastes like heaven but pretty much makes you wish you were dead a few hours later. But we just can’t make that promise, stomach.

That’s our roundup. Who or what can you think of that hates the Super Bowl?

Tags: sports, football, life, haters, patriots, giants, tom brady, eli manning, the super bowl

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About the Author
Valerie Burn

Valerie Burn is a very cool Midwestern lady. She has lived in tons of exciting places, such as Wisconsin, Illinois, Minnesota, and Michigan. She spends her free time snuggling her beautiful, perfect dog Teddy, and reading the entire internet every day. Valerie enjoys eating things, buying things, and writing things, as well as watching terrible TV.

Wanna contact a writer or editor? Email contribute@sparknotes.com.