BOURNE IS BACK (And He's Badder Than Ever)
Dudes, if you have never before considered the impact that a simple grey t-shirt could have on your wardrobe, your social life, and your secret agent skillz, NOW IS THE TIME. This exclusive trailer for the UNBEARABLY COOL new Bourne film starring Jeremy Renner makes it abundantly clear that when a guy puts on grungy grey tee, he becomes exponentially awesomer (and at least 14 times better at hand-to-hand combat). Scribble that manly wardrobe tip down in your super-masculine diary, and then take a gander at this trailer, which is hands-down-Dagger-guaranteed the coolest thing you will see all day (unless you're an amnesiac assassin in your real life, in which case you probably see stuff like this all the time. Quit bragging).
The movie comes out on August 3, which is about 6 months too far away for my liking, since I DESPERATELY WANT TO SEE IT TODAY. Come on, that part where Jeremy gets all Parkour on a pine tree?! How am I supposed to wait 6 months to see THAT? Not to mention the fact that the gorgeous Rachel Weiss and super-rad Edward Norton also star in this action-packed punch factory ("punch factory" is a term I coined just now to describe a movie with loads of killer fight scenes), AND the music is the perfect mix of ominous and thrilling, AND the poster is pretty much the most badass poster I have ever seen in my entire life.
Oh, and Sparklers, this post might seem a little dude-centric, but I figured I hardly needed to say anything more than "starring Jeremy Renner" and I'd pretty much have you on board. BECAUSE HOW HOT IS JEREMY RENNER, AMIRIGHT?!? He's sort of got a scruffy Martin Freeman thing goin' on. (Guys, you're allowed to agree that he's good-looking. It's basically a scientific fact.)
Doesn't this look like the best Bourne film yet?