You're a bird, you're a plane, you're SUPERMAN! But really, dude, you're just a bird. Stop trying to lift up that car.
Game: Line Birds
Deets: Produced by Robert Szeleney. $.99, Compatible with iPhone, iPod touch, and iPad. Requires iOS 3.0 or later
Rating: 5.5 out of 10 on the Geek-O-Nator
The Down-low: In this game you're a fretful, clumsy little avian bent on flying above the atmosphere, nearly out of orbit. You're that jerk bird that the news media is always calling out for crashing into commercial planes.
But this is no wave-your-arms-and-take-off kind of deal. This is full-tilt flight training and it's every bit as difficult. Using your phone as a literal wingspan, navigate your bird around planes, cannon balls, and random pieces of topography sticking out of the sky to distant and almost unreachable safety.
And don’t take your finger off that flap button, or your bird is roasted. (Yay bird pun!) The distance you fly and your increasing score will determine when you get to unlock new colorful birds who have cool powers—like invisibility and spontaneous combustion. Just picture an invisible bird suddenly exploding into flames. You're grinning like a lunatic now, aren't you?
This is not you’re mother’s Angry Birds. Line Birds is the most infuriating game we’ve ever played and therefore the most wonderful. The day you finally keep this bird afloat, I guarantee you'll be flooded with a feeling of extreme personal satisfaction and something not unlike love. And be sure to let us know when that day comes—we're still trying to get there ourselves.
Are you a Line Birds fan? Have you achieved maximum lift-off yet? (We don't really know what "maximum lift-off" means, but it sounds like something an astronaut would say.)