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Cereal Mascot Tournament Round 4, the CHAMPIONSHIP

Cereal Mascot Tournament Round 4, the CHAMPIONSHIP

By RG Daniels

It all comes down to this. The tournament has delivered drama, suspense, victory, and defeat. The winner of the 1st Annual Cereal Mascot Tournament will be crowned. Will it be the Sonny the Cuckoo Bird, a tough fighter who overcame tremendous odds to get to the Championship round? Or will it be the Cap’n Crunch, a fearless leader who earned more than he bargained for last round by defeating Count Chocula, but was forced to join his evil monster squad? On to the final match!

(Vampire) Cap’n Crunch vs. Sonny the Cuckoo Bird

When the tournament started, nobody saw this coming. The wild and chaotic style of Sonny the Cuckoo Bird will be up against the patient and strategic Cap’n Crunch. The major factor in this match will be Crunch and his new vampire identity. Gone is the blue uniform and love for his namesake cereal, the Cap’n is wearing a brown uniform and sprinkling the crowd with Chocolatey Crunch. It is a stunning turn of events. Making matters even more complicated is Count Chocula and Frankenberry flanked on either side of the Cap’n.

The crowd is going wild. The amount of Cuckoo Crazies has quadrupled as most of the arena is filled with fans supporting Sonny. The Count and Frankenberry are taking their time leaving the ring. The Cap’n is standing at the center of the ring, stiller than a spoon in an empty bowl. Sonny goes after him. He begins with a right, then a left, then a right, then a left. Nothing has an effect on the Cap’n. He is in a trance and seems to have no idea where he is. When Sonny tries to tackle him to the ground the Cap’n grabs him by the beak and tosses him off to the side. Sonny gets to his feet, but the Count trips him from outside the ring. A dirty move. It is beginning to look more and more like 3 against 1. Sonny has his work cut out for him.

Crunch has barely moved from his spot in the ring. The ref is yelling at the Count. Frankenberry is taunting the crowd. Sonny gets back to his feet and attempts to get Crunch in a headlock.  The Cap’n grabs Sonny and piledrives him into the mat. Cap’n picks up Sonny and with zero effort tosses him from the ring like a bag of garbage. He lands by Frankenberry who waits for the ref to turn his head, and then whacks Sonny’s face with a chair. By the time ref notices Frankenberry the damage is done. Sonny is hurt…

Frankenberry rolls him back into the ring. Crunch picks him up over his head and slams him to the ground once more. The crowd lets out a collective groan as they watch their hero lay unconscious on the ground. The Cap’n picks him up and bearhugs him so tight his eyes are popping out of his head. From the side of the ring Chocula commands Crunch, “Now! Bite him now!” The Cap’n shows his fangs! Sonny has no idea what’s going on! The Cap’n…BITES INTO SONNY’S NECK! He releases him. Sonny falls to the ground, feeling the two freshly punctured holes in his neck. Crunch picks him up, and throws him from the ring once more. Count Chocula and Frankenberry enter the ring. The two monsters are celebrating a victory and the championship. The crowd is booing loudly. The ref begins to count out.

1…2…3…The monsters start dancing in the ring. 4…5…6…Cap’n Crunch is raising one hand, convinced he is victorious. 7…8…Sonny gets up! 9…He slides back into the ring!

“You forgot about one thing Chocula! Bird blood can’t get infected by vampires!” Sonny turns to the crowd and shouts, “I’m Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs!!!” A shower of Cocoa Puffs and cheers comes hailing down to the ring. Sonny begins to feel that surge throughout his body. He frantically gulps down the cereal! HE IS CUCKOO FOR COCOA PUFFS!!! He flies around Frankenberry creating a tornado. Frankenberry is stunned! Sonny picks him up and tosses him from the ring! Count Chocula commands Cap’n Crunch to destroy the bird! Sonny eludes the Cap’n. He flies all the way up to the top of the arena, then comes soaring down on the Cap’n like a missile! His beak pierces right through his heart! Sonny breaks through the Cap’n, leaving a hole in his body the size of a cannonball! He’s headed right towards the Count and…and…spears right through the Count’s heart! When he shakes loose the Count is lying on the ground. Sonny is looking down on him. The Count’s final words can be heard all throughout the arena, “I…want…to eat…your…cereal.” The crowd goes wild! The song “Let’s Go Crazy” by Prince is blaring throughout the arena. The ref raises Sonny’s hand in victory! We have a champion!! We have a champion!!

Champion: Sonny the Cuckoo Bird

Ahhhh, the crazy bird wins! We were shocked. Is this what you expected????

Tags: contests, fights, life, foods, brackets, cereals

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About the Author
RG Daniels

RG Daniels is a writer living in Brooklyn, NY. He likes ‘90s one-hit wonders, breakfast for dinner, and koala bears. He is currently on Level 163 in Candy Crush.

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