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The 27 Worst Things to Collect

The 27 Worst Things to Collect

By Josh Perilo

Fitting in sure isn’t easy. And you don’t make it any easier on yourself if you collect weird stuff. We’re not saying you shouldn’t have a hobby, but there’s a thin line between being an enthusiastic fan of something, and being a horder.

Our crack team of hobby and collector professionals have determined, through exhaustive research, the absolute worst collections that anyone could ever possibly have. If you collect any of the following, you may need to seek professional help. And you should probably also rent a steam cleaner.

1. Nuclear War Heads
2. Head Cheese
3. Heads of state (particularly of post-Soviet, eastern block countries)
4. Fresh kale leaves
5. Massive amounts of room temperature elk meat
6. Stale Flamin’ Hot Cheetos
7. Cheetahs
8. Panda cubs
9. Elderly sloths
10. Stamps
11. Toothpick sculptures of Victorian theaters
12. Popsicle stick sculptures of Edwardian morgues
13. Paint chip sample sculptures of Jacobean forgeries
14. Urine samples
15. Kate Goselin’s children
16. Ghosts of Confederate soldiers
17. The hopes and dreams of little Timmy Johnson
18. Coins
19. Shrunken heads
20. Manuscripts that are constantly on fire
21. Dice made from human/orangutan bone
22. 1950’s TV’s that have been converted into Aquariums/Terrariums
23. Corroded car batteries that are partially/completely submerged in hydrochloric acid
24. Tears of a clown
25. Actual babies’ breath
26. Kryptonite
27. Any music by the band Phish

Did we miss any?

Tags: collections, creepy things, life, funniest, horders, nuclear war heads, phish

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