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Snake Tries to Save His Game: Metal Gear Solid 3

Snake Tries to Save His Game: Metal Gear Solid 3

By Jake Duffy

Anyone else have a love/hate relationship with saving the amazing new Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater game? Why does this woman talk so much about movies? She's kind of funny, we admit. Okay, we may be getting a little attached to her. You know what, just read our Game Saving "transcript":

This week on Unportable Portables, Metal Gear Solid 3: SnakeEater 3D Edition. Deep in the vegetation of the Tselinoyarsk jungles, a man must save his game...

** CALL ** CALL ** CALL **

Para-Medic: Hello Snake, would you like to save your game?

Snake: There is a man controlling a swarm of bees with hand movements and he's floating in the air. He's coming right at me. I've pressed the Action button to save my state.

Para-Medic: Great. Say Snake, have you seen The Hunger Games?

Snake: This is the Cold War, Para-Medic. It's 1964, the world is on the brink of nuclear annihilation. Besides, that movie doesn't even come out until 8 years after this game is released on the Playstation 2. You would have to re-release the game on a portable handheld or console system for someone to play it and know what The Hunger Games even is. Keep your head in the game, Para-Medic, there is a man floating in the air controlling bees and he's coming right at me.

Para-Medic: Well what about Battle Royale then? Don't you feel like you've been put into a jungle and made to kill your closest friends?

Snake: I'm meeting my closest friends, Para-Medic. This is the origin story that explains the future of the Metal Gear series. It fills in the backstory with clever references to the future. It's also the best Metal Gear Solid game there is, so you should be happy to be having this conversation with me right now.

Para-Medic: Hey Snake?

Snake: What is it, Para-Medic?

Para-Medic: Do you ever feel like you're just being told what to do? That someone is just pushing your buttons?

Snake: I've got an Action button.

Para-Medic: Pardon?

Snake: Earlier when I was climbing in the tree to retrieve my backpack, the Major told me to press my Action button.

Para-Medic (passionately): Oh Snake.

Snake: Why is this taking so long? I need to save my state so that I can defeat this hovering bee man controlling bees. He controls the bees by keeping a queen bee in his backpack.

Para-Medic: That would never work.

Snake: He is coming. What is that flashing red light on the device next to the Action button?

Para-Medic: That's the battery indicator for the Nintendo 3DS. We're getting low on power. You should plug your Nintendo 3DS into the wall so that we can continue our conversation.

Snake: It's started blinking. Press the Action button in time with the blinking red light to generate power for the device.

Para-Medic: ...

Snake: This cut scene has 45 minutes left. I get paid by the word so I'm going to keep talking in my gruff, war-seasoned peppery voice.

Para-Medic: When you are cloned in the future, you should really check out Battle Royale. My favorite scene—

Snake: We haven't got time! The light is blinking faster. They call this villain the Pain, and in addition to controlling bees from his back pack he has a Tommy gun and grenades. I'll have to think on my toes to defeat him.

Para-Medic: Isn't that a little overkill?

Snake: It's okay, all I need to do is press the Action button, and then a scripted cut scene will take over and show how I actually defeat him. Can you please save the—

Anyone else having saving issues?

Tags: games, video games, snake, metal gear solid 3

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