New Slang for Books
You can tell the things we care about by the number of slang terms we have for them. Eskimos, a prime example, had tons of words for snow, perhaps even too many words for snow, to the point where it got kinda weird. If you count the amount of slang, you can tell easily pinpoint what our society seems to care about: drinking, drugs, sex, the organs involved in sex, and of course horses (“ponies,” “clipper-cloppers,” “riding cows,” “ol’ big-teeth-two-eyes” –so much horse slang!).
But what about books? Personally, I’m a big book fan, but there seems to be only one term for it: book. I guess you could call it “literature,” but I’m not really sure I support the people who casually call it that. “Ooh, excuse me, I need to read some literature.” “Excuse me, I need to find a new friend.”
Thankfully though, I have put some thought into this, and come up with some book slang for all of us to use, as to emphasize just how much we care about it. Try 'em out! Drop them into everyday conversation—they'll be sure to impress everybody.
BLT (bacon lettuce text)
Movie Scripts Scripts
Those Things Mark Twain Made
Hot and Read-y
Boob with a K (this one is racy!)
BLT (bacon literature tomato)
BLT (book lettuce tomato)
The Cut Up Scroll
BLT (bacon lettuce tomato)
Poor Man’s Booster Seat
Dyslexia’s Jigsaw Puzzle
The Ol’ Open-and-look-at-from-left-to-right-and-think-about-in-your-brain
Typewriter’s Coloring Book
Imagination Doorway (this is easily the lamest sounding one, don’t actually use this)
The Eye’s Greed (or “gread,” if you want to sacrifice spelling for puns)
Bread (mispronounced) (wait, that sounds like “breed”, which isn’t the same … eh, you get it)
Add some more! Let's get this to be a thing.