Prom is expensive, don’t get us wrong. And we think that you should try to cut costs however you can. Share a limo. Rent a cheap tux. Parachute into prom instead of having a full eight chopper Air Force escort. But if there’s one thing that you absolutely, must not skimp on, it’s dinner.
Aside from the grab bag of excitement that is food poisoning, a cheap dinner will just set the tone for an evening of anger and resentment. We’re not saying that you need to go to the absolutely most expensive joint in town, but there are some standards that must be met. We have done the research and found the absolute worst restaurants to take your date to before prom. If you are caught in a tux or prom dress at any of these establishments, your prom tickets will be revoked and you’ll be forced to slow dance to the sounds of a cat in heat in the parking lot of a Chucky Cheese all night. You have been warned:
The Riverdance and Celine Dion Cafe
All Things Poached
Don’t Go Breakin’ My Eggs: Elton John’s Breakfast Burrito Emporium
The Open Wound Grill
Really, Really Cheap Fish
The Souvlaki Cart under the N Train Broadway Stop, Astoria, Queens
Saddle Sores Barbecue
World of Broth
We’ll Pickle It!
O’Malley’s Jewish Delicatessen
Sichanese, the Demon Hell Spawn’s Pizza Pavilion and Ritual Sacrifice Temple
Salty Fried Cornmeal in a Variety of Shapes