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WoW: Don't Attack Things With Skulls (Maybe That Should Have Been Obvious)

WoW: Don't Attack Things With Skulls (Maybe That Should Have Been Obvious)

By Jennifer Grudziecki

Guys, I was doing so well at not dying. For about half an hour, I actually managed to run around Blood Elf world without kicking the pixel bucket. Now, while that time might seem extraordinarily short for all you experienced gamers out there, to sad little N00Bish me it felt the way a fly feels when it gets to actually buzz around for it's entire 2-day lifespan without getting crushed to death by a giant disembodied hand. I imagine. But then, of course, the tragic end came. And it was tragic. Or hilarious, if you ask my boyfriend (who flat out guffawed when I told him). Here's what happened:

After falling off the roof to my last death, I recovered my body and went to complete the head-cutting-off quest. Which, actually, wasn't as hard as it sounds. Once I made it inside the Blood Elf Academy without falling off any roofs or ledges and found the room where Mr. Evil was waiting (beside several corpses I might add—that was a nice touch), I noticed that HE AND I WERE THE SAME LEVEL! That is, level five. I didn't even notice all the leveling up before, but I guess all of that kitten-killing paid off! I feel like I should have a party for reaching level five, because it is basically as exciting as getting an admissions letter to Hogwarts. Seriously.

In any case, in the aftermath of cutting off Mr. Evil's head (during which process I did NOT die, thank you very much), I was running around the pretty forest cavorting in joy at my amazing progress. I stabbed trees gleefully here and there as I went, and if I knew how to make my elf huntress skip, she would have been. (Side Note: Is there a way to skip? Because that would be cool. I like skipping. Or maybe that is not war-like enough?) And then. AND THEN. I discovered this cute little town center where an elf had Dragonhawks (much bigger than my little guy) which I could ride! Reveling in yet another awesome discovery, I hopped on. And promptly got lost.

The Dragonhawk flew me to Silvermoon, the Blood Elf capital, which was really cool. Except, of course, I'm really bad at maps. And Silvermoon is a city, which means the map is even more complicated than normal. Have I mentioned how bad I am at maps?

I tried to explore the city, but was completely bewildered the entire time. Seriously, guys, help: is there an easier way to navigate the map in the corner of my screen? Because right now it reminds me of my brother's brain: really small and entirely too hard to understand. In any case, I had no idea what I was doing and was thrilled to receive a mission of some sort that involved fireworks. Fireworks! This game has elves, dwarves, dragons, AND fireworks? I wish I was better at it so I could fully enjoy the coolness—kinda like how I wish I could have enjoyed all the jokes in Disney movies as a kid.

So, I bought a bunch of fireworks from a fireworks-seller I magically bumped into and lit them off. Easiest. Quest. Ever. And still no death! And then I received an invitation to some sort of Lunar Festival, which I quickly used. I had no idea what I was getting into. The Lunar Festival people transported me to some Moonglade, where I got even more lost. Can you get lost if you're already lost? I don't know, but I did. Somehow I found myself in a tunnel surrounded by creatures that look roughly like Yetis. They looked angry and dangerous, so I ran... and ran and ran and ran until I found myself in the snow, somehow. HOW CAN THERE BE SNOW AND FLOWERS AND ALL OF THIS IN ONE PLACE? Magic, I guess. Approaching me was a slightly different looking Yeti-creature.

Instead of having a level number, though, it had a skull. What does it mean if someone has a skull instead of a level? I will probably never find out, because here comes the tragic part. I was just so darn curious about the skull and wondering what I was supposed to be doing in the MoonGlade anyway that I shot an arrow at it. And I guess that was maybe not the smartest idea, because the thing charged me. And hit me. And the last thing I saw was a bright red -217 on the screen before waking up in the Spirit world.

And I was doing so well! I guess the skull should have told me that maybe the yeti wasn't a friendly creature, but hey, you never know. Or maybe you do.

I still haven't recovered my body or made it out of the Moon Glade—the amount of lost-ness I'm stuck in is kind of daunting, to be honest. Any tips on getting unlost?

Death Count So Far: 6.75

Any navigation tips? Or really any tips, period?

Related Post: Blogging World of Warcraft

Tags: games, video games, computer games, mmos, wow, mmorpg, blogging world of warcraft, blogging wow

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About the Author
Jennifer Grudziecki

Jennifer Grudziecki is a writer, intern, and soon-to-be college graduate living in New York City. Her life goal is to be a space pirate, and maybe to write a book along the way. Follow her on Twitter @JennyGrudzy or on Tumblr at www.jennigrudzi.tumblr.com/

Wanna contact a writer or editor? Email contribute@sparknotes.com.

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