Books are a great way to unwind after a hard day of studying or over a leisurely weekend when you just want to get away. But let’s be real, here. They can also be some serious girl bait! Reading the right book in the right environment can be a surefire way to get exactly the kind of girl you want to fall for you. You just have to know which titles are going to lure which babes.
To get the attention of the introverted girl: Catcher in the Rye
This book has gotten a bad rap thanks to certain psychopathic maniacs, but for anyone who has actually read the darn thing, it’s still a masterpiece. And anyone reading a copy of this tome (especially one that is well worn, preferably with a broken and taped spine and LOTS of underlining in it) knows that being seen reading this is short hand for “I’ve got a lot going on… you probably wouldn’t understand.” That is catnip to the introverted girl who thinks the same thing about herself. If you are approached by a female while thumbing through Catcher, make no sudden movements. And respond in mumbles and monosyllabic utterances only. Also, it wouldn’t hurt if you were wearing a red hunting cap.
To get the attention of the determined, independent girl: The Fountainhead
Nothing says “I know what I want, and I’ll stop at nothing to get it” like being seen intensely reading anything by Ayn Rand. But if you really want to get in good with the Bookworm Betties, The Fountainhead is the book to be seen with. Not only is it a surefire way to let those of the opposite sex who are fiercely obsessed with success know that you are of the same mind, but it also has one of the strongest female characters in any of her novels. If you are approached by a girl and she asks you what your favorite part of the book is, simply say “I am inspired by Dominique. I think she’s the most beautiful female character in all of American Literature.” Remember to invite us to the wedding.
To get the attention of the fantasy/sci fi nerd girl: Northern Lights (Golden Compass)
This may seem like the wrong choice to some of you. Sure, I understand the idea of reading one of the Twilight books or a Harry Potter volume to flag that cute, bespectacled female’s attention, but in our estimation, the Golden Compasses series strikes the perfect balance of image that you want here. Let’s face it, any guy who is caught reading one of the Twilight books in public should have it smacked out of his hands. And at this point, while they are all wonderful, the Potter books are at the cultural saturation point. It’s the slight obscureness of the Compass books along with the warm and fuzzy animal association that makes them just the right fit here. And the two of you can go on for hours about what a letdown the movie version was.
To get the attention of the fashion-conscious girl: The Devil Wears Prada
This is a tricky one to pull off, but if you do it right, you’ll score major points. This is obviously a book that was written from the point of view of a women, for women. But, you will argue to the stylish girl with the Fendi clutch and kitten heels who asks you bemusedly what you are reading, the book is really just the classic David and Goliath story told with an updated twist and a colorful backdrop that is begging for mockery. Then you will close the book and ask her if the empire waisted sundress she’s wearing is Marc Jacobs. After her jaw drops, ask her if she’d like to get coffee later.
To get the attention of the musical theatre geek girl: Sondheim: A Life
You may not know who Stephen Sondheim is, but that Glee obsessed, Smash-watching cutey sure does. Aside from being one of the most important composers of musical theatre in the twentieth century (he wrote lyrics for West Side Story and Gypsy) he penned the music and lyrics for, what is arguably the bloodiest, most violent musical in history, Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street. So, when that girl pirouettes up to you wearing the cast t-shirt for your school’s production of Into the Woods, you can tell her that she’s got the looks to play Cinderella, but the singing chops to play the Baker’s Wife. You’ll be harmonizing together in no time!
What are you reading now?