A Total Recall of Total Recall(s)
There’s a brand new movie coming out this summer with Colin Farrell that looks amazing. It’s called Total Recall. Wait a second… I feel as though I’ve had this thought before. Am I having déjà vu, or is it possible that I’M LIVING IN A REALITY CREATED BY A MACHINE AND MY ENTIRE LIFE IS ONE BIG LIE!?
Relax, voice in my head. It’s neither.
Total Recall is a remake (they’re calling it a reboot, which it isn’t really since there’s no franchise to reboot) of the “classic” 1990 Arnold Schwarzenegger sci-fi action flick. Now, I remember being scared out of my very short pants by the original, but I decided to put the trailer to the 1990 version and the teaser for the 2012 version back to back for some comparisons.
Let’s go old school first, shall we?
Click HERE to watch the trailer—it cannot be embedded.
Here's my thoughts:
- The voice over already has me craving slap-wrist bracelets and a Saved by the Bell marathon. Vintage late ‘80s/eary ‘90s.
- How can you not laugh when you watch Ahnold’s head rotating through outer space.
- The fat woman face opening thing still makes me upset. I need a moment.
- Why does every bad guy in this movie look like a child molester?
- “Take this thing out of the case and stick it up your nose.” No wonder I was scared.
- Arnold’s facial expressions are almost as convincing as the proto-CGI effects.
- Wow, Sharon Stone was really hot! Forgot about that.
- KICK “That’s for making me come to Mars.”; BANG BANG BANG “Consider that a divorce.” Hey guys, remember unironic action movie one-liners? Good times.
Now let’s check out what Colin’s been working on:
- Okay, so this isn’t the actual trailer. It’s a trailer for the trailer. Which is kind of dumb. I mean, do you really need an ad for an ad? Sorry, I’ll shut up now.
- This machine is to the machine in the 1990 version as the iPad is to a Commodore 64.
- The girl is still hot. I’ll approve it.
- Flying cars. Explosions. Storm troopery looking guys. Big guns. Sure!
While I can’t exactly say I’m 100% sold on the paltry thirty three seconds they’ve given us, I’m certainly interested in seeing more. So, in that sense, my vote goes for the new movie. But if it’s comedy you’re in the mood for, I’d recommend the 1990 Schwarzenegger version any day.
Hasta la vista, Colin.
Are you excited for the new Total Recall?