The school cafeteria is like a battleground. And we’re not even talking about the politics of who sits where. We’re talking about the food.
It can get pretty dicey when you’re trying to decide what you’re going to eat (and how you’re going to eat it), so we thought we’d run you through a little exercise we like to call Would You Rather: The School Lunch Edition.
And you thought it was hard to choose between a chicken cutlet and a grilled cheese.
Would you rather…
Spend every lunch period in a room shaped like a gigantic Skippy jar filled to your waist with peanut butter
Eat a hand sandwich?
Be a human cafeteria table
Live in a house made of chicken nuggets?
Rule as Queen of Pizza Fridays with a scepter made of pepperoni and a throne forged from a thousand breadsticks
Own an international chain of Turkish bath houses that uses only hot dog water in their spas?
Have legs made out of Salisbury steak
Celebrate every birthday for the rest of your life with the lunch ladies?
Jump from a plane with a Fruit Roll-Up parachute into a field of Fruit by the Foot
Be executed for your crimes against humanity by lethal injection… of Cheez Whiz?
Fight in a jousting tournament where the poles are made of bendy straws and the knights ride on the backs of janitors
Drink a malted death milkshake?
Walk across a bed of hot coals with only hoagie buns to protect your feet
Wear government cheese make up?
Spend every lunch period on the edge of black hole, where reality unravels like a cheaply made sweater and time stretches into an eternity
Eat the “mystery meat?”
Tell us in the comments!