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The Hottest Villains

The Hottest Villains

By Scott Greenstone

Some villains are horribly disfigured, some wear masks, some are made of smoke; and then there are those who are just plain smokin’. Sure, people are attracted to power. But people are also attracted to large oblique muscles, and these villains have both.

Poison IvyBatman. Winner of the Most Creative Use of Leaves in a Costume Award, Poison Ivy is DC Comic’s most well-known sex symbol. Not only is the woman part of her lascivious, have you ever read a book on plant biology? They should really be censored.

TerminatorThe Terminator. Winner of the Most Quoted Award. This one hardly needs proving. Asking if the Terminator should be on this list is like asking if Miley Cyrus would die without attention on her.

SauronThe Lord of the Rings. Winner of the Hottest Eye(s) Award. Any guy who owns a volcano and is a flaming eye is hot in my book. Get it? This is why people call me a genius, FYI.

Mother GothelTangled. Winner of the Hot Mama Award. When she’s in her young form, I mean. Otherwise she’s just yucky.

VenomSpider-Man. Winner of the Best Abs Award, Venom is one of the buffest villains in the Marvel Universe. He’s got a vendetta. He’s got a dual personality. And that tongue? Can you say "schmexy?"

Queen RavennaSnow White and the Huntsman. Winner of the Best-Aged Award. Charlize Theron might have high cheekbones, and perhaps she also bathes in Muscle Milk, but she’s still the fairest of them all.

GlimmerThe Hunger Games. Winner of the Worst Way to Be Killed Award. Couldn’t forget the Hunger Games this week of all weeks, could I? Though her designer chose the sexy angle for this Career, she certainly lost some of her sparkle when covered in tracker jacker stings.

Bellatrix LestrangeHarry Potter. Winner of the Best Father-Figure Murderer Award. Even though she’s twisted and insane, she’s got some great hair!

JavertLes Miserables. Winner of the Not Really a Villain, But A Really Persistent Antagonist Award. He’s already got the tortured inner self down, but when portrayed by Norm Lewis, who, despite your personal thoughts on his performance, is one good-looking black man, Javert becomes more than just a policeman. He’s given many women the right to remain silent.

Jadis, the White WitchThe Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe. Winner of the Her Clothes Made Mammals Extinct In Canada Award, the White Witch is a dangerously beautiful dame who I’ll admit, I’ve had a fear/respect-induced crush on since I was nine.

Who's your hot villain crush?

Tags: movies, villains, celebrities, lists, books-and-comics, bad guys

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