So, if you watched the Game of Thrones premiere Sunday and you’re even a little bit like me (or a human being in even a miniscule way) you found the final sequence of the episode a little… shall we say… violent. That is not meant to be a judgement at all. Just an observation. There’s been a lot, A LOT of violence on that show, but that was definitely some of the most violenty violence so far.
It got us to thinking over here at The MindHut. If that’s where this show is going, what other insanely violent acts are left for us to witness in the land of Westeros? How much farther could they possibly go? How much more ridiculous could it possibly get?
The answer, my friends, is a lot. Here are some ridiculous and over the top acts of violence that we want to see happen this season on Game of Thrones:
- King Joffrey, upset with his BLT at the royal lunch, orders the guards to behead the lettuce from whence the Iceberg came and mount it on a spike in the town square.
- Tyrion, always the voracious reader, just can’t get through his latest volume of Jocund Tales of the Casterly Rock. He strings it up and guts it.
- Sansa finds the doll that her now dead father tried to give her from last season and puts the blasted thing on the rack, stretching it beyond recognition.
- Cersei, in her ongoing frustration with her son, has taken up knitting. After missing a purl stitch she becomes enraged, builds a pyre, and burns the half knitted scarf mercilessly.
- Robb Stark has taken on more responsibility in the North. And that means more laundry. After accidentally putting a red sock in with the whites, he has the entire load taken into the field and run through with a sabre.
- Arya is heading north, disguised as a boy. Because of this, she must start practice shaving. During her first shave, she draws blood from her cheek and must find a Band-Aid.
- Daenerys and her army of Dothraki cannot get the dragons to eat. They sacrifice a bowl of steamed vegetables to the Gods of Blended Food and the dragons feast on strained peas.
- John Snow finds himself in the midst of the wintery chaos beyond the wall without the ability to use his fingers. He ruthlessly beheads the tips of the fingers of his gloves so he can open his satchel and get a snack.
What other horrific scenes are you looking forward to this season?