Alright already! Enough of these trailers for trailers! If I want to see a trailer for the new Total Recall starring Colin Farrell, I want to see an actual trailer! Not a thirty second…
What’s that? Oh, it’s online now? Well, why am I talking to you, voice in my head? I need to watch this awesomeness, tout de suite, and write my every thought down during said viewing!
- Hmm, “Appropriate Audience?” I don’t feel “appropriate.” Oh well. Guess I’ll watch it anyway.
- Colin Farrell just woke up from a nightmare about not having been in a good movie in five years… or was that REALITY!?
- Oh good! Kate Beckinsale’s the hot girl in this movie! I can get behind that.
- Flying cars: check. Soundtrack with noises like a hovercraft coming to a stop: check. Dystopian filth: check. Yup, we’re in the future.
- Hmm. I don’t know that I’d get my brain messed with at a place that looks like a Victorian opium den… but then again, that’s just me.
- Also, if I were to go to a Victorian opium den to have my mind messed with, I don’t know that I’d let Harold from Harold and Kumar be the one to do the messing. But, once again, that’s me.
- STORM TROOPERS! YES! IT’S ON!
- Okay… so he’s Neo? Wait, is this The Matrix or Star Wars?
- Oh no! The hot girl’s trying to beat up Colin! That’s gunna be a tricky make-out scene.
- Whew. Okay. Jessica Biel is in it, too. I get it. Hot good girl. Hot bad girl. I’m listening…
- And, of course, they beat each other up.
- Nice! Whatever that break/turbo thruster thingy was that crushed the car underneath them… yeah… more of that, please.
- And Brian Cranston, FTW!
So, basically, I will be at the first screening of Total Recall on opening night. How about you guys?
Kate Beckinsale and storm troopers? Yeah, we're in. What did you think of the trailer?
Image credit: http://welcometorecall.com/