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Blogging WoW: Adventures in Tree-Slaughter

Blogging WoW: Adventures in Tree-Slaughter

By Jennifer Grudziecki

Before I regale you all with the brilliant, enthralling tale of my latest foray into World of Warcraft (which was, surprise!, as pathetic as ever), let me respond to a few things...

For those of you who, for some reason, feel enough pity to be my friend on WoW, I'll be adding you soon—I'm kind of frightened that once you see how truly terrible I am, you'll throw lead-coated pine-cones at me. I'm still building up the nerve. To mb_int and Mirhandarghh, I didn't even know Buttmuffin had a defensive stance. I just assumed I'd been stuck with a particularly aggressive pet...And to eekaelpy55, umm...I'm an elf? A Blood Elf. Is that a realm? I'm guessing no.

And now, moving on. After my last death, Buttmuffin and I found ourselves in a really burnt, blackened part of the Eversong Woods. Given the number of undead skeletons walking around, I was pretty sure I was about to be killed. So, like any true n00b would do, I ran for it. And, just like a n00b, instead of running to safe territory, I wandered farther into the dead forest. Where all the creepy things live. Way to go, me.

I was beginning to think that the dead woods were off limits, since I hadn't seen any people yet, when I ran into another elf! And she talked to me! Sure, she was also a computer-elf and therefore had no choice but to talk to me, but hey, I'll keep my small victories. As luck would have it, she sent me on another quest—to kill more trees. What is it with these Blood Elves and destroying the environment? I feel like I need a serious history lesson: why do the Blood Elves think all the trees are evil?

But, since I will do anything to make the other elves like me—even if they are computers—I set off on my quest to kill the dead trees. And I was doing so well! My little Sparkslayer was staying far enough away from the evil things to be able to shoot them still, and their tree roots couldn't walk too fast, so I was actually killing them! Buttmuffin was doing his part, too—attacking the trees when they got too close, not attacking things when I didn't want him to.

Seven trees. I only had to kill seven trees. And for a second, I thought I might actually complete this quest without dying. But only for a moment. Because right when I killed my seventh tree, I was swarmed. Swarmed! At least five more evil trees surrounded me, and I just couldn't run away fast enough. Or at all, really, because I was dead in about 10 seconds.

My only consolation is that since I'm still below a level 10, I get resurrected for free. I don't know what I'll do after that—try to die less, maybe? Ha! Look, I made a funny!

Still, there is another bright spot: I can now wave at other elves/dwarves/creatures! Sparkslayer is a little shy for an Blood Elf Huntress, though, so I've only practiced it alone in the woods so far. But. BUT! We're working up the courage to wave to an actual player. It would help, maybe, if other characters didn't keep pointing and laughing at me every time I die. But that seems about as unlikely as me not dying.

On another note, does anyone know how to adopt another pet? Is there a pet shelter I can go to, or something? Maybe I could adopt one of those kittens they keep trying to make me kill...that seems like a pleasant alternative!

Got any WoW advice? Want to be my friend? Comment below!

Related Post: Blogging WoW

Tags: games, video games, computer games, role-play, world of warcraft, wow, elves, mmorpg, blogging world of warcraft, blogging wow, rpgs

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About the Author
Jennifer Grudziecki

Jennifer Grudziecki is a writer, intern, and soon-to-be college graduate living in New York City. Her life goal is to be a space pirate, and maybe to write a book along the way. Follow her on Twitter @JennyGrudzy or on Tumblr at www.jennigrudzi.tumblr.com/

Wanna contact a writer or editor? Email contribute@sparknotes.com.

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