Distinguishing Powers: Can remain airborne for 4 - 6 seconds at a time; master of three unique cluck dialects; (¡)es muy caliente(!).
Reason Rejected: For own safety
Nick Fury Says: "This dude (chick???) had a fiery spirit that I really respected, and it WOULD'VE been nice to get a little ethnic diversity on the team. But if I hired this bird I just KNEW he was gonna get blasted at some point with a damn FIRE RAY, and I made the team PROMISE not to ever eat a fellow Avenger, no matter HOW succulent or extra-crispy they may be."
Brandon is a writer and humor editor at Reader's Digest magazine. He was born in Tucson, Arizona, and wants to write a paranormal Western that begins, "First the cows turned up dead." What should the rest be about? Tell him on twitter @beardspeck.