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12 Entirely True Facts About Squirrels

12 Entirely True Facts About Squirrels

By Nuala McKenna

Here it is, folks. The gift for all trivia fans that just keeps on giving. When turtle facts just aren’t enough, we’re here with some squirrel facts that will blow your mind.  A word of advice; don’t keep this knowledge to yourself. Your friends and family deserve to know all there is to know about the squirrel. We’re sure they’ll be nuts about it.

  1. Nutbush, TN is named for the hordes of mutant zombie squirrels that roam the town from sunrise to sunset during the winter solstice. Residents are able to fend off the zombie squirrels by affixing Post-It notes to their foreheads with the word ‘empty’ written in black sharpie.  Not only are the zombie squirrels able to read at a 9th grade level, they’re also terrified of anything manufactured by the 3M corporation.
  2. Turtles candy was originally called Squirrels.
  3. In order to develop their legendary agility and stealth, all squirrels are trained from a very young age in a squirrel-only ninja academy. The squirrel ninja academy predates the existence of human ninjas. Some say that the first Japanese ninjas actually learned ninjutsu by observing the squirrels.
  4. The lead singer of Paramore, Hayley Williams, bases her hairstyle on the design of the red squirrel’s coat.
  5. Turtles and squirrels are mortal enemies. This is in part due to an annual battle royale held at Coney Island that dates back to 1880. The losers are forced to ride the ferris wheel while spectators throw rotten tomatoes.
  6. Steampunk fashion was not, in fact, inspired by neo-Victorian style, but rather based on the outfits the squirrels wore during the very first Battle Royale against their mortal enemies, the turtles.
  7. Squirrels get their coats super shiny by eating a mixture of Nutter Butters and Reese’s peanut butter cups.
  8. The Nine Inch Nails song, “Help Me I Am in Hell” was originally entitled “Help Me I’m in a Squirrel Motel”.
  9. The design of the Wright FlyerThe Wright Brother’s airplanewas based on their pet squirrel’s flying stance.
  10. Squirrelterricus, the ancient and vengeful squirrel spirit, stalks humans who kill squirrels. He will appear to you if look a squirrel in the eye on the night of a full moon and chant “Nutsy, nutsy, nutsy” three times.
  11. Squirrels were the basis for Game of Thrones. However, George R.R. Martin’s publisher believed that “no one’s going to buy a book called Game of Acorns”.
  12. Australia’s first coat of arms depicted a Mexican standoff between a koala, an emu, and a squirrel

So there you have it, folks. You were pretty confident you knew every squirrel fact worth knowing. But like a hurricane of awesome squirrel knowledge, we came, we saw, we rocked your squirrel trivia world. Squirrel facts: they’re the new black.

What's your favorite squirrel fact?

Tags: lists, life, funniest, facts

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