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Cult Films That Should Get Sequels

Cult Films That Should Get Sequels

By Robert Isenberg

Get this: There's going to be a third Riddick movie.

Riddick never fails to surprise. In 2000, Hollywood spat out Pitch Black, a (a) low-budget movie that (b) takes place in the distant future about (c) a spaceship that (d) crash-lands on a desolate planet, which (e) just happens to have a total solar eclipse—starring (f) Vin Diesel. Like most cult movies, Pitch Black should exist only as bootleg DVDs sold on sidewalks. And yet—Pitch Black did so well at the box office that Universal made a $105 million sequel called The Chronicles of Riddick, co-starring JUDY DENCH!

It makes you think: If a no-account B-movie can transform into a galactic franchise, what other cult sci-fis could end up with serious sequels? Here are some ideas, in case anybody in Hollywoodland is listening in (PS... SPOILERS HEREIN):

Grandchildren of Men: In a world where humanity can't procreate, the only male child on the planet grows up with the only female child on the planet, and they have precisely two children. But these children are brother and sister, so they can't procreate. They just watch everybody kill everybody else and burn their cities to the ground. "Who thought this situation could get more depressing?" says the brother. "Not me," says the sister. The End.

Idiocracy II: Even Stupider: Joe Bauers (Luke Wilson) is still stuck in the future, where everyone is still an idiot. Rumors reach Joe that "another super-smart guy" has emerged, and Joe desperately tries to find him. The "super-smart guy" is actually a mad scientist (William Shatner) who uses a ray-gun to turn the idiots into full-blown zombie slaves. When Joe is struck by the ray-gun, he must overcome his increasing stupidity to defeat William Shatner. At one point, they have a gun-battle with Super Soakers filled with Mountain Dew.

Pan's Labyrinth, Episodio Dos: Okay, so (SPOILER ALERT!) everybody died at the end of Pan's Labyrinth—so in the sequel, the young Ofelia wakes in the afterlife and finds a way to return to Earth, where she personally ends the Spanish Civil War, led by an army of fauns and centaurs. Because what could be more awesome than a bunch of Fascist soldiers getting kicked to death by man-horses?

Pi Squared: Darren Aronofsky's first movie was about a shy genius who finds a super-number that can predict stock market values. In Pi Squared, terrorists hack into the nuclear arsenal, and Max Cohen must stop them, using only higher math. In the third sequel, Pi: The Nth Degree, Max builds a time machine and invents the concept of "zero" (Straight to DVD).

Æon Flux Redux: A glutton for punishment, Steven Soderbergh directs this reboot of the 2005 flop. The city of Bregna is perfect in every way, except that the government makes people disappear. Æon Flux is a raven-haired super-soldier who fights the secret police, using mostly kung fu. Instead of Charlize Theron, Flux is played by Karen O of the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, who has never really acted before. Oh, and it's filmed entirely on handheld camera phones.

We, Robot: In this daring sequel to the Will Smith movie I, Robot, the story actually bears some semblance to the original Isaac Asimov book.

The Return of Donnie Darko: In this prequel, we return to the day before the plane kills Donnie Darko, when a mysterious hang-glider crashes and kills Donnie's neighbor, Tommy Tarko. But Tommy returns from the future to explain that he is actually in an alternate reality, where his spirit guide is a giant moose. It's all very confusing, but basically Tommy and Donnie discover that their science teacher (John de Lancie) is actually an axe-murderer, and if Tommy allows himself to be hit by the hang-glider, then Drew Barrymore gets a supporting role.

Tremors 5: Giant worms. Desert. Shotguns. You know the drill.

What's your favorite cult movie that you think deserves a sequel?

Tags: movies, sci fi, action movies, funniest, riddick

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