True Blood Recap: Introducing the Tarampire!
Summer has several signifiers: grill outs, the smell of fresh cut grass, and Sookie Stackhouse running around in Daisy Dukes getting into ridiculous situations. That’s right, kids, True Blood is back, and our favorite vamps are campier than ever! Here’s what happened in Bon Temps this week...
We pick up right where we left off, with Sookie cradling a near-dead Tara while Bill and Eric clean up the mess that was Nan Flannigan. While Bill phones Jessica to tell her he’s heading out of town, Eric cleans the bloody room with vampire-warp speed, demonstrating the underappreciated handiness of vampires in a domestic capacity. We learn that they both sensed what happened with Sookie, and while Eric seems to be back to his old ways, Bill is about to run to her aid when both vamps are taken down with silver and nets and stuffed in a trunk.
Lafayette, woken by Debbie’s shotgun, finds Tara and Sookie in the kitchen, and, to make it a party, Pam shows up, because, technically, it’s Eric’s house, and she wants to make amends with her maker. Out of desperation, Lafayette asks Pam to turn Tara. Sookie, who balks at first because Tara hates vampires, agrees, and cuts a deal with Pam: she will use her magic hands and dynamic lady parts to convince Eric to forgive Pam. Pam, liking the prospect of having a Southern-fried fairy owe her one, agrees.
Meanwhile, a naked Jason stands behind his front door, trying not to look his visitor, rookie vampire Steve Newlin, in the eye—he doesn’t wanna get glamoured. But of course, because he’s Jason, he eventually looks right at the former reverend, gets glamoured, and invites him in.
Sam, cornered by the wolfpack of Marcus, the creepy dude he and Alcide disposed of last season, surrenders to protect his girlfriend, her daughter, and Alcide. The pack tortures him in order to find out where Marcus’ body is—they need it for an important ritual. Sam eventually leads them to it just as Alcide shows up to take responsibility. Weirdness ensues when some wolves support Alcide as the new leader, while those closest to Marcus begin eating his corpse. What’s a little cannibalism amongst family?
Back at Jason’s, Steve Newlin-fanger has Jason tied to a chair with tape over his mouth (images of Eddie from season one, anybody?). In a twist, Newlin comes out as a “gay vampire American,” blaming his homosexuality for his history of being “all murderous and whatnot.” He professes his love to a befuddled Jason, who lets him down real sweet and gentle-like. His rejection angers Newlin, who is about to attack when Jessica enters and claims Jason. Jason, now unglamoured, rescinds his invitation, forcing Newlin out, but we all know he’ll be baaaaack.
Bill and Eric, naturally, find a way to make the car they’re trapped in explode. They are then saved and joined by Nora, Eric’s “sister” whom Eric greets with a ridiculous make-out sesh. Later, they have sex so loudly on the rooftops that Bill warns them they may wake New Orleans. They’re not biological sibs (Godric was their maker, so they’re vamp sibs), but this current trend of incestuousness in television has run its course. We’re over it. Ix-nay on the incest-ay, kay?
At Eric’s, Sookie and Lafayette bury Tara with Pam, who, clad in a yellow sweatsuit with elastic-ankled bottoms, delivers the line of the night, as she responds to Sookie’s uncertainty by saying: “I am wearing a Walmart sweatsuit for y’all. If that’s not demonstration of loyalty, I don’t know what is.” She has a point. After the burial, Sookie gets a visit from Alcide, who tells her Russell is still alive. Sookie, feeling guilty, almost confesses to killing Debbie when Lafayette interrupts her, telling Alcide to leave. When Alcide resists, Lafayette has a great moment in which he tells the wolf to back off and take his growling behind elsewhere.
Around town, Andy Bellefleur and waitress Holly finally hooked up, and we learn Andy’s still easily swayed when he does a dirty judge a favor. His cousin Terry is having a hard time with new houseguest Patrick, who mentions an arson epidemic within their old unit. He tells Terry that the fire that destroyed his home might not have been caused by the “super pretty ghost named Mavis who turned out to be real nice.” Uh oh.
On the lam, Bill and Eric are told by vigilante vampire friends that they cannot return to Bon Temps. They will have new names and identities. Bill is now Marcellus Clark, and Viking Eric is Ike Applebaum! Or not. Before they can escape, they are captured by the Authority (again).
At episode’s end, we see that Pam has pulled herself out of the dirt, but Tara has not—she didn’t turn. Sookie and Lafayette begin to mourn, until a kickass Tarampire flies out of the ground and grabs Sookie, looking at her with crazy-scary eyes!
What did you think of this week’s episode?