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True Blood Recap: Wham, Bam, Thank You, Pam!

True Blood Recap: Wham, Bam, Thank You, Pam!

We’re forgiving True Blood for this season’s mega-slow start because, a) it’s reminiscent of the show’s debut season, which began at a languid get-to-know-you pace, picked up momentum mid-season, and rolled to a rollicking finale, and, b) there’s more of Kristin Bauer von Straten’s Pam, who has become the show’s scene-stealer of choice and its most entertaining character. Here’s how Pam and company rolled this week:

Rescuing Tara from suicide-by-tanning bed, Pam employs the whole “As your maker, I command you,” deal, ordering Tara not to try suicide again. Frustrated, Tara must oblige. Later, Pam is thrilled by the return of Eric, who arrives with Bill. They ask about Tara’s presence, and Pam responds with the hilarity we’ve come to expect: “Congratulations,” she tells Eric. “You’re a grandfather!”

Eric’s not amused. He chokes her, accusing her of having a role in Russell’s escape. Pam tells him she’d die a thousand times before betraying him, and if he doesn’t trust her, he should release her—which makes him believe her.

In an entertaining new dynamic, Tara and Bill chat vamp to vamp. When Bill asks about Sookie, she gets annoyed. There will “always be some fool there to take a bullet for her,” Tara says. It’s evident that Bill’s heart is still Sookified, and that Tara and Sook’s friendship is beyond repair—at least for a while.

Sookie, fresh from confessing to Alcide, runs into a peeved Lafayette. “I coulda sold out your peach pie ass so many times,” he tells her—can’t you keep quiet? Apparently not, because Sook then goes to Jason’s and tells him she’s turning herself in. “Into what?” he asks. She tells Jason what happened as Jessica walks in from the bedroom, having just overheard everything.

Things get worse for Sook when Lafayette, still unable to control the brujo within, casts a spell on her car. While driving home, Sook realizes she has no brakes, and in a ridiculous scene, jumps out of the speeding vehicle with nary a scratch!

Jason learns Andy is prepped to search Sookie’s house in relation to Debbie’s death when Jessica sprints up and glamours Mr. Bellefleur, wiping Debbie from his mind completely. A grateful Jason thanks her before going out with Andy and his crooked judge friend. Beauties blindfold the fellas and lead them to a field—a field that turns into a huge party palace!

Andy runs into the fairy he had a random encounter with last season, and Jason bumps into his cousin Hadley, who tells him they’re in a fairy “safe house” of sorts, and reveals TMI when she mentions his parents were killed by vampires, which confuses Jason, who presses her. When he does, he and Andy are sent back to the field, and are zapped by two dudes with light balls for hands!

In the continuously lame Terry plotline, flashbacks reveal that a drug fueled night in Iraq led to the slaughter of innocents by his troop members. We love Terry, and we get that they’re trying to fill in his backstory, but his scenes lack levity, and we can’t bring ourselves to care.

Sam, visited by his old, shifter friends, agrees to meet up for a run through the fields. When he goes to meet them, he finds them dead. This was bizarre, but it might actually give Sam something to do.

The Authority were bathing in weirdness—they all sat around watching Nora get tortured on their MacBooks. When Roman and Salome force Nora to reveal the traitor she’s in cahoots with, we learn it’s the boy vampire. Roman stakes the kid, making himself look like Carrie’s prom date in the process. We wonder—can vampires have heart attacks? Roman always looks like he’s one step away from the ER!

In the episode’s most touching scene, Eric tells Pam he must release her—not because he doesn’t trust her, but to protect their lineage—she’s a maker now, and with the dual threats of Russell and The Authority, he must protect her. Their parting was genuinely sad, and we hope it’s not forever!

Pam took the lineage talk seriously, and began teaching Tara the ins and outs of vampdom, bringing her a human to feed on. When Tara refused, Pam played the maker card again. Pam’s motherly instincts emerge, as she tells Tara that humans can no longer harm her—they are now hers to savor.

Sookie, feeling like a life ruiner, gets plastered and butchers “Escape (The Piña Colada Song).” Alcide stops by to tell her that he lied to Debbie’s parents, blaming Debbie’s death on deceased pack leader Marcus. Relieved, Sook and the ripped werewolf flirt and start to make out, which was slightly annoying. Meanwhile, right outside, Eric and Bill witness the make-out sesh and discuss recruiting Sookie in their mission against Russell—whether she likes it or not!

What do you think of the storylines shaping up this season?

Tags: tv, vampires, recaps, true blood

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About the Author
Beth Mishler

Beth Mishler is a writer, producer, and pop culture connoisseur who has a weakness for the Whedonverse and all things sci-fi. Originally from Madison, Wisconsin, Beth currently lives in The Plains, Ohio, where she freelances, makes documentaries, and watches a kazillion hours of TV per week while anxiously awaiting the release of George R.R. Martin's next novel.

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