This week’s True Blood featured an ancient scroll, a badass move by Tara, and Russell’s hidden agenda! Here’s our Bon Temps run-down:
Sook watching the news, learns all the Tru Blood factories are now gone, and there has been a 50 percent spike in vampire attacks. She’s about to enjoy her Chinese food when Mike the coroner knocks. She invites him in, which she regrets immediately when she sees his new fangs. Sook kills him with her chopsticks and gets gran’s floor all bloody AGAIN!
Bill, still presumably drinking the Authority Kool-Aid/Lilith’s blood, is now wearing an Authority pin reminiscent of a Star Trek Insignia button. Still doing Salome’s bidding, he kills Molly with an iStake. RIP Molly—you were one haughty, techie-loving vampire! He and Nora then focus their energies on converting (or saving?) Eric. They force Lilith’s Kool-Aid down Eric’s throat.
This, of course, makes him hallucinate. He sees Godric, who again speaks against the Authority’s agenda. Nora, also Kool-Aidified, disagrees, and they argue religion until naked Lilith appears and literally rips Godric’s head off. This was certainly an effective way to settle a dispute, and we get that a vampire god should prolly be drenched in blood, but is Eric really the only vamp there who can see that her blood is bad news? He later tells them what they want to hear, even saying he forgives Russell!
At Fangtasia, new sheriff Elijah, who looks like the product of a Criss Angel/Cher union, tells Pam and Tara they need to make more money. He suggests adding “feeding booths,” where vamps feed on humans, which Pam dislikes, saying she’s old fashioned. “You and Blockbuster video,” Elijah retorts. He also tells them about a new vampire directive: a procreation mandate. They need to make 30 new vamps by year’s end. If they don’t, he will seize Pam’s assets—and her new progeny.
Later, Pam tells Tara he can have the bar, but he can’t make them pro-create—that’s their decision. She tells Tara they can “live in the wind” like she did with Eric. But Tara has other ideas. She lures Elijah into a back room at Fangtasia, saying she accidentally killed someone she was trying to turn. While he checks it out, she takes his head off with a sword. Pam enters, both angry at and proud of Tara.
Jess goes to Merlotte’s, where she encounters an anti-vamp element. Sam defends her, aided by Lafayette. Holding a shotgun and wearing a rainbow bracelet, pink off-the-shoulder tank, and printed head wrap, Lafayette remains the show’s individualistic center: he’s an openly gay black man, a medium, the very definition of "other," and yet he embraces his nature and defends those who are being discriminated against. All while being hilarious, fabulous, and dependable. We heart him!
Jason enters and sees Jess. They talk, and realize they’re there to meet the same person: Hoyt. After surviving the supe-stalker ordeal, he wants a new start. He’s moving to Alaska, where he has a job lined up. He’d like something from them before he goes, though: closure in the form of Jess glamouring him so he forgets she and Jason ever existed. Geez, Hoyt, we get it’s cheaper than therapy, but that’s harsh. Seeing he’s still in agony, in a moving scene, Jess obliges, and she and Jason say a teary goodbye to Hoyt.
Later, Bill commands Jessica to join him at Authority HQ. She’s appropriately turned off and weirded out by his sudden change of heart—all this crazy talk reminds her of her human parents. But she stays, unsure what’s going on.
Sook, alarmed by her latest intruder, goes to stay with Jason, but not before a) Jason looks under the skirt of her stuffed animal as she packs, and b) he actually does real detective work by decoding gran’s message. He removes the floorboard under Sook’s bed, where he finds a scroll. The scroll is too old to be translated by scholars, so they take it to the fairy nightclub, where the now pregnant fairy who had a tryst with Andy deciphers it. She tells them that Sook’s ancestors promised their firstborn female fae to Warlow! Uh, oh!
In a way cute scene, Lafayette cooks dinner for (future fae daddy?!) Andy and Holly, who still doesn’t know about Andy’s past with fae ladies! They share a sweet moment, which makes us worry for their lives, their happiness, or both!
Russell, hungry for Greek, went to a frat house with Steve Newlin. After they ate (killed) dinner, they danced to a cover of “Teenage Dream.” Sam and Luna know Newlin has Emma, so they shift into mice and sneak into his carry-on bag during one of his appearances. They end up at back Authority headquarters, where Newlin is mean to human Emma and Russell announces his true agenda: he wants a fairy factory. Synthetic fae blood = daywalking for everyone, he says! Salome disagrees, and he tosses her aside. He reverts back to his 3,000 year old accent and threatens the lives of everyone before taking off!
What did you think of this week’s episode?