Well, True Blood-ers, the season five finale came and went, and it was beyond eventful. Shifters were outed to the public, a fairy gave birth, and we got an answer to Pam and Tara’s “will they or won’t they?” flirtation. Here’s what happened:
The ep begins with Russell ready to finish his fairy feast. Sook and her fae posse blast him with their light—which he barely feels—before Eric speeds in and grabs him, stake in hand. As Russell’s face starts to burn from light exposure, Eric stakes the former vampire king of Louisiana, ending him forever! “That felt even better then I thought it would,” he says. Well, we’re glad Eric got his revenge, but we’re definitely gonna miss us some Russell Edgington, who was one of the most dynamic characters ever!
Eric thanks Sook—he smelled her fear and that’s how he found them—and tells Nora, who smells fairy, that it’s not OK to eat Sookie. Sook, though, is more worried about Jason, who was blasted into a tree by the fae elder last week. He wakes up, but when he does, he sees his parents, who begin putting anti-vampire sentiments in his (damaged) head. This was our least favorite part of this episode; the writers have developed Jason nicely this season, and it’s a bit recidivist of them to revert him back to seasons one and two, when he was Fellowship of the Sun-crazy!
Sam, about to become Bill’s breakfast, can see that Bill is no longer rational, so he turns into a fly and escapes through a vent. Bill, annoyed, orders his Authority army to find and kill everything from rats to insects. If it doesn’t shift into a human after you kill it, Bill says, keep looking. Sam finds Luna and tells her he has a plan.
Eric and Nora, joined by Tara, are headed back to Authority headquarters to save Bill. They enlist the help of Sookie, as Eric feels she’s the only one who can still reach him. Jason, who is still hearing scary-hateful thoughts from his parents, argues with Eric before insisting that he go along, with the intention of killing as many vamps as possible. Sook tells him he’s not thinking straight. So vampires aren’t waging a war against humans he asks? “That train has already sailed,” Jason tells her, and vows that he will even kill Bill if he has to.
Rev. Steve Newlin, freaked after watching Russell die, grabs Emma and heads for the hills. The Authority receptionist notes he’s acting strange—his southern accent is gone, and he seems nervous. Before he can leave, however, a female member of the Authority tells him he must do damage control on TV.
As he stammers through his Teleprompter speech, he vomits blood before shifting into Luna! Luna tells the live audience about a hidden camp in New Orleans where vampires are feeding on humans, when the female Authority member charges her. Sam, still a fly, flies down her throat and shifts back into himself, making her explode! He and Luna share a look of triumph before she faints.
Alcide, who is fed up with pack leader JD force-feeding werewolves vampire blood, wants to put an end to it, but can’t figure out a way to match JD’s V-fueled strength. His father, played by Robert Patrick, has the solution: a vial of extremely good V. Alcide takes it, and makes short work of JD, becoming the new pack master.
Lafayette—whose storylines were woefully lacking this season—makes margaritas for Holly and Arlene when Andy enters with his pregnant fairy gf, Maurella. He confesses his indiscretions to Holly, but they get distracted when Maurella’s light breaks. Holly earns oodles of cool points by being the midwife for her boyfriend’s mistress. The fae birth was crazy-ridiculous (it was so sexual that Lafayette said he wants to try it!), and when it was over, Andy was left with four fairy daughters... literally—Maurella told him to try to keep at least half of them alive, and walked away.
Back at Authority headquarters, Sook, Eric, Nora, Jason, and Tara show up. Jason is in full-on Rambo mode, and kills every vamp in sight. Sook and Tara free Jessica and Pam, and upon seeing Pam, Tara kisses her, which Pam seems to like. “Oh... OK!” Sook says, as a triumphant Jessica boasts that she saw this coming. Eric and Sook then send the rest of their gang away in an elevator, and head to find Bill.
Bill, knowing Salome would drink it, replaces Lilith’s blood with blood laced with silver. As Salome dies, he pulls the real vial from his pocket, and Sook and Eric show up. They plead with him, tell him Lilith is a ‘mad’ god, but Bill won’t listen. He says some real mean stuff to Sook before downing the vial. He explodes, and we think he has just met the true death! But then a blood-soaked Bill rises from the pile of red sludge with new fangs the size of a sabertooth’s—‘Billith’ is born! So either Bill’s dead, or he’s now a scary-evil god! Eric tells Sook to run as season five came to an end!
What did you think of season five?