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The MindHut SCIFI SMACKDOWN 4: River Tam versus Buffy Summers!

The MindHut SCIFI SMACKDOWN 4: River Tam versus Buffy Summers!

By Becky Ferreira

Heyo, Masterminds! Thanks for all for your votes on Round 3 of the SciFi Smackdown, which pitted Katniss Everdeen against Hawkeye. Usually, we would lay out some points from each side but the verdict this time was almost completely unanimous. Hawkeye won the popular vote in a landslide of 21 to 2. Even hardcore Hunger Games fans felt Katniss would have been outmatched by Hawkeye's strength, marksmanship, and superior weapons. As Rocksmith succinctly put it, "awesome exploding arrows beats all." Nothing personal, Mockingjay, but Hawkeye is a tough archer to beat!

Our avenging archer will go on to fight against the winner of this match, which should be a much tougher call. After all, it's a battle between two brutal babes; two fierce fighters; two Whedon women. In their respective television shows, these characters were both chosen by higher authorities to complete different roles with very different consequences to their mental states. Get excited, because River Tam, the telepath-weapon of Serenity, is about to face off against Buffy Summers, Sunnydale's favorite vampire slayer.

ROUND 4: RIVER TAM VERSUS BUFFY SUMMERS

River Stats

Species: Human.

Occupation: Former test subject, currently a refugee.

Strengths: Telepathy, super-intelligence, and insane hand-to-hand combat skills. Not only does she destroy her opponents, she does so with style. We should expect nothing less from an Alliance-made weapon.

Weaknesses: River's insanity can be as much a weakness as a strength. She can't simply fight on command: she needs to be either triggered, or to see someone she loves in danger. She also has a safe word that makes her immediately fall asleep—like verbal Kryptonite!—but only her brother knows it.

Personal Beliefs: People must be left to live their own lives, without governmental meddling. Also, an early quantum state phenomenon is responsible for the Noah's Ark story.

Quote: It's a toss-up between, "I can kill you with my brain" and "No power in the 'Verse can stop me." Tough words from a tough telepath!

Buffy Stats

Species: Human.

Occupation: Vampire slayer.

Strengths: Slayers possess super-strength, super-speed, super-agility, super-endurance, super-reflexes, and super-healing abilities. On top of all this, Buffy also possesses super-wit! That's a metric ton of super, Masterminds.

Weaknesses: She can be killed, and in fact, has been killed. Twice. But much like James Bond, she has made a hobby out of resurrection.

Personal Beliefs: She has a no tolerance policy for demons, vampires, and other hell-beasts. Due to repeated failures at driving, she also believes that herself and cars are "unmixy."

Quote: "I can beat up the demons, until the cows come home. And then, I can beat up the cows."

Who would win between these two beautiful, brauny, brainy brawlers? Vote below, and feel free to suggest other characters you'd like to see face-off against each other in the next match!

Tags: movies, tv, firefly, buffy the vampire slayer, serenity, sci fi smackdown

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About the Author
Becky Ferreira

Becky Ferreira is a writer, performer, and raptor based in New York.

Wanna contact a writer or editor? Email contribute@sparknotes.com.

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