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The Lone Ranger Trailer Kicks Major Kemosabe!

The Lone Ranger Trailer Kicks Major Kemosabe!

By Vadim Newquist

Disney

Pistol packing cowpokes, old west enthusiasts, and fans of dead bird hats everywhere have something to rejoice about today, as blockbuster producer Jerry Bruckheimer and company have finally released a teaser trailer for the much talked about Lone Ranger film that will stampede into cinemaplexes come 2013.

Well, how about we watch this little trailer together and confer afterwards? Shall we? We shall!

Wow.

Perhaps it was foolish not to expect something at least approaching awesome as director Gore Verbinski and Depp gave us the Pirates movies, but hey, I'm really glad to see that so far The Lone Ranger looks to be nothing short of epic. Now a few stray observations:

- This movie cost over two hundred and fifty million dollars, and I bet that intro alone exceeds the budgets of most indie films!

- We are VERY glad they didn't go the steampunk route. The last thing we'd want is another Wild, Wild West on our hands.

- That quick shot of the board meeting getting hit with a barrage of bullets is our second favorite shot in this trailer. Something about top hats flying through the air with slow-mo debris scattering about is just irrissitably cool.

- It's kind of a bold move to cast the Lone Ranger with a relative unknown. I don't even know who that Armie Hammer guy is… (Takes a break to look him up on IMDB). Oh! That dude plays the twins in The Social Network! Ok.

- Helena Bonham Carter makes movies that aren't directed by Tim Burton now? That's crazy!

- I've never really understood why the Lone Ranger bothers to wear that tiny mask in the first place. It doesn't obscure enough of his face to make a difference. Would you honestly not be able to tell that's the same guy if he took it off?

- Man, segregation was really worse than I though in the olden days. I mean the fact that Native Americans were forced to sit underneath the car connecting mechanisms on trains is just an embarrassment.

Overall, the trailer answers some burning questions we had, such as will this franchise to be take a steampunk approach? No! Does this appear to be the potential cheese-fest a Lone Ranger film could easily turn out to be if it was totally mishandled? Absolutely not! Does Depp actually wear that dead bird on his head the entire time? Yes, it does appear that way!

What did you think of the trailer?

Tags: movies, previews, johnny depp, armie hammer, trailers, the lone ranger

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About the Author
Vadim Newquist

Vadim Newquist is a writer, director, actor, animator, fire fighter, stunt driver, martial arts instructor, snake wrangler and time traveling bounty hunter who scales tall buildings with his bare hands and wrestles sharks in his spare time. He can do ten consecutive backflips in one jump, make cars explode with his mind, and can give fifty people a high-five at once without even lifting his hands. He holds multiple PhDs in nuclear physics, osteopathic medicine, behavioral psychology, breakdancing, and chilling out. He currently resides in Gotham City inside his stately mansion with his butler Alfred and his two cats.

Wanna contact a writer or editor? Email contribute@sparknotes.com.