Is Candy Corn the Most Evil of All Halloween Candies?
As we inch closer to the end of the month and the drug store sales on Halloween candy begin, it's important to think about what we want to urge people to avoid buying this holiday season. Sure, some suspects are clear — the absolute worst Halloween candy isn't candy at all: pennies, apples, raisins, or pencils. But even among actual candy, there is one type whose evil has loomed larger than all others: CANDY CORN!
Let us explain:
The number of pages on the Internet devoted to "bad" candy are enough to help you waste an entire afternoon: bad candy from around the world (including "spice-covered plum lumps" and "vinegar-flavored slices of vegetable), unsweetened 100% chocolate, message board threads about circus peanuts, bit o' honey, and good & plenty, and an article about durian candy ("the 2 flavors which seemed most prominent in Durian are gasoline and onions").
It's one thing to be bad — it's something else entirely to be dangerous. And the most dangerous candy of 2012 is... CANDY CORN, because candy corn is trying to take over the world.
Don't believe us? You'll thank me when everyone around you turns into a 3-colored cone of sugar. It's in everything. This year, there are candy-corn flavored Oreo cookies (which one taste-tester calls "not good"), candy-corn flavored popcorn, and even a candy-corn flavored bagel.
Don't let candy corn take over your soul. Avoid it like raisins. Good luck.
What is your least-favorite Halloween candy?