7. The Pilgrims, Meanwhile, Maybe Didn't Eat ANY Turkey

There's actually no specific mention of turkey in any of the extant accounts of Thanksgiving 1.0. But, the  diary of early colonist Edward Winslow ("Mourt's Relations: A Journal of the Pilgrims at Plymouth") does mention a lot of venison and shellfish. So really, if you want an authentic Winslow-family-Thanksgiving experience this year, hit a buck with mom's minivan, soak the carcass in brine overnight, then contract smallpox. Bon Appétit!