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Disgustingly Astounding Food Records

Disgustingly Astounding Food Records

By Robert Punchur

Christmas, Haunaka, Kwanzaa, Festivus, Boxer Day, December Solstice—regardless of what you’re celebrating this season, there is no denying that the end of the year is a time to get together with loved ones and EAT FOOD UNTIL YOUR JAW CRAMPS AND YOUR STOMACHE EXPLODES!!!!! Because, after all, isn’t that what the holidays are all about? And with that seasonal sentiment in mind, why not make this year extra special? Forget about the boring milk and cookies. Aim for something bigger. Something better. Something so disgustingly huge that onlookers may want to turn away in disgust, yet can’t keep from watching in amazement as you chow down on a feast fit for twenty kings!

We're talking excessive amounts of food. And in the spirit of holiday overeating, we've gathered for you some of the most disturbingly impressive food facts in existence today.

Early last week, five Italian chiefs worked together to bake a record-setting 25 Ton Pizza! The pie measured 131 feet in diameter and took over 48 hours to create. It was sponsored by a gluten free food company called Dr. Schar. Yes- this entire pie was gluten free. And no, it can not be delivered to you in 30 minutes or less.

Check out a video of the glorious pizza being made:

Equally unnecessary is this 2,014-pound hamburger created by The Black Bear Casino Resort in Carlton, Minnesota in September of 2012. The behemoth burger was toped with 60 pounds of bacon, 50 pounds of lettuce, 50 pounds of sliced onions, 40 pounds of pickles, 40 pounds of cheese, and a healthy layer of shame. It measured 10 feet in diameter and a construction crane was required to flip it. Literally!

Those first two items are cool, but they’re obviously just one-time publicity stunts. There is a hot dog, however, that is 16 inches long, 4 inches in diameter, and weighs 7 pounds that you can order. To eat. Normally, the 40-serving snack costs $169.95 but as part of a special holiday offer, customers can currently order a hot dog, bun, ketchup, mustard, and relish all for only $95.95! What a deal!

And if I haven’t convinced you yet, The Big Hot Dog infomercial definitely will. It is without exaggeration, 3 of the best minutes that have ever happened to the world:

As for the longest hotdog, check out this 668.6-foot hot dog produced by Novex S.A in Paraguay. The project was completed on July 15, 2011 and is recognized by the Guinness Book of World Records as the World’s Longest Hot Dog.

Ohh.. And in case you were wondering, I ran some numbers and a 668.6 foot hot dog would be about 10,500 calories. The big hamburger would be about 4,000,000 calories and the giant pizza is somewhere around 26,250,000 calories. To put that in perspective, the average human should eat an approximate 2000 calories per day. The population of Alaska is 722,718 people. This means that the 25-ton pizza that was made last week contains enough calories to feed the entire state of Alaska for over 55 days!

Of course, for those who are not interested in eating only pizza for two months straight (a.k.a- non college students), there are healthier giant food options. For example, check out this 19-ton salad made in Romania this past September. The project contained 23 ingredients, almost all of which were produced locally. It took 1,100 local volunteers nearly 7 hours to assemble and mix it all. Once completed and confirmed as a world record, the salad was distributed to volunteers, various charities, and local livestock.

And now to end with a desert, may I recommend the Hershey Food Corporation’s 4016-pound lollipop? Or maybe match.com’s 7-ton chocolate heart? Or, if you’re looking for something a bit more affordable, how about this giant gummy worm for less that $30?!

What food would you supersize?

Tags: food, hot dogs, pizza, life, dessert, records, hanburgers

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About the Author
Robert Punchur

Robert Punchur is a comedian, writer, and neat guy based out of NYC, America. You can do liking of his Facebook page here: https://www.facebook.com/RobertPunchurComedy

Wanna contact a writer or editor? Email contribute@sparknotes.com.