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Worst. Commercials. Ever.

Worst. Commercials. Ever.

By Vadim Newquist

Commercials are a necessary evil. We put up with them because they facilitate the entertainments we watch, and to be fair, a great deal of them are clever enough to justify the thirty seconds of our lives they consume. There are, however, some commercials that are so stupefyingly horrible, it's a wonder that anyone would allow them to air. Well, we found five of the worst offenders in that second category, a group of commercials mired in so much fail that it's hard to comprehend they even exist… So enjoy the five worst commercials of all time!!!

1. The Norton Furniture Frog on the Couch Commercial

Marc Norton is a bit of a Cleveland legend for producing the strangest local TV ads imaginable, and this one is the perhaps the most bizarre of all. It starts off with an insanely poorly dubbed announcement from Norton, whose natural speaking voice sounds like he's in a constants state of laryngitis, and what ensues—well, you just have to see if for yourself.

2. Eagleman Insurance

Insurance companies are typically good at coming up with strong personalities to sell their products. Love them or hate them, the Geico Gecko and Flo, the Progressive insurance lady, are two of the most successful ad campaigns of the last decade. But you know what probably doesn't sell insurance? A man inside a creepy bald eagle costume that poops out giant eggs.

3. Akasaka Sushi

You don't see many commercials for sushi restaurants do you? Well it's probably because after this one aired, there was a federal court ordered ban against them. This commercial does provoke quite a few questions, though perhaps the biggest being what's up with the guy with the fake beard and bolo tie, and why is he playing a guitar in a song that was clearly produced on Casio keyboard from 1982?

4. Golden Gate Funeral Home

Comedy is probably not the most dignified way to go when trying to advertise a funeral home, and this commercial proves it. The only way this could have been worse is if the tag line was "Golden Gate Funeral Home: We put the FUN in funeral."

5. Barbie Dog Tanner

No, this isn't a commercial for a Barbie themed tanning bed for your dog, it's a commercial for a failed Barbie toy, Tanner the pooping dog. Not only does Tanner poop, which is weird enough, but in order to do so, it has to be fed doggie "treats". Well, the treats are the very thing it poops out. This is getting too gross, so we're just going to show you the commercial.

What's the worst commercial you've ever seen?

Tags: food, tv, horror, commercials, scary, terrible

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About the Author
Vadim Newquist

Vadim Newquist is a writer, director, actor, animator, fire fighter, stunt driver, martial arts instructor, snake wrangler and time traveling bounty hunter who scales tall buildings with his bare hands and wrestles sharks in his spare time. He can do ten consecutive backflips in one jump, make cars explode with his mind, and can give fifty people a high-five at once without even lifting his hands. He holds multiple PhDs in nuclear physics, osteopathic medicine, behavioral psychology, breakdancing, and chilling out. He currently resides in Gotham City inside his stately mansion with his butler Alfred and his two cats.

Wanna contact a writer or editor? Email contribute@sparknotes.com.

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