Skip over navigation

Mindhut

8 Rejected Hostess Snack Treat Names

8 Rejected Hostess Snack Treat Names

By Steven Romano

Sometimes, all you need to sell something is a jazzy name. Just think: if Hostess had called Twinkies what they were (overly processed, spongy sugar sponges) they may not have had the huge following that they did. Well, that almost happened! Did you know cakes like Twinkies and Zingers almost went by totally different names? Neither did we, so that’s why after days of painstaking research we compiled this list of 8 rejected names for some of your favorite Hostess snack treats!

1) Pocket O’ Fruit Sludge (Fruit Pie)

The viscous filling of Hostess Fruit Pies (the verdict is still out on whether or not the indeterminate chunks can be classified as actual fruit) walked that fine line of being both a solid and liquid, hence a member of Hostess’ marketing team suggesting it be touted as a type of sludge, hence "Pocket O' Fruit Sludge."

2) Turdles (Chocodiles)

The day Hostess created chocolate-covered Twinkies also marked the implementation of an anonymous name-suggestion box. One mystery prankster took advantage of the anonymity by suggesting the name “Turdles.” Rather than throw out the idea entirely, the company ran with the reptilian theme—sans literal toilet humor—and decided to dub the snack treat “Chocodiles” due to their vague resemblance to a crocodile. Very vague.

3) Puddin’ Pustule (Pudding Pie)

Upon opening the first pudding pie fresh off the conveyor belt, one Hostess marketer couldn’t help but remark that the opaque vanilla filling resembled pus and should be named in honor of the bacteria-laden exudate. He was promptly demoted to janitorial duties.

4) Gretchen Krandle’s (Suzy Q’s)

The Hostess marketing team nearly came to blows deciding on a name for their line of snack cakes paying homage to the time-honored whoopie pie. Wishing to see an end to the boardroom conflict, the company’s then CEO declared that the desert be named after his loving wife renowned for her inner beauty: "Gretchen Krandle." Inarguably a hideous name, one intrepid marketer gently advised that the CEO’s niece—affectionately called “Suzy Q”—would make for a far better namesake.

5) Heart Zingers (Zingers)

The American Heart Association’s board of cardiologists nearly put an end to the production of Hostess’ plans to release a creamed-filled sponge cake with a layer of icing on top. The amount of sugar and fat alone posed a potential health risk, with one doctor sarcastically calling it a “heart zinger.” The name clicked with Hostess’ team of marketers and "Heart Zingers" were born. However, over the years, some felt the connotation to clogged arteries was a tad morbid, and the treat was simply named "Zingers."

6) Nun-4-You (Twinkies)

Wanting to create a dessert treat that places an emphasis on sharing, Hostess released a nameless cream-filled sponge cake sold in packages of two to a small town—which unbeknownst to the populace was being used as a testing ground for the product. Hostess soon realized that the sponge cakes they had made were in fact too delicious, causing people to bogart both treats for themselves. Inspired by their soulless greed, the cakes were called "Nun-4-You," which ironically featured the sponge cake wearing a nun’s habit as the mascot: Sister Sponge. Both the name and mascot were dropped a week later.

7) Hell Hounds (Devil Dogs)

Legend has it that one night, a member of Drake’s Cakes marketing team—prior to their acquisition by Hostess—was spirited away to the very bowels of Hell as described by the 13th century Italian poet Dante Alighieri. Whilst traveling with the Roman poet Virgil through the Third Circle, where gluttons are punished, the two had encountered a demonic chef handing out a chocolatey treats filled with cream dubbed “Hell Hounds.” His taste buds instantly smitten with the hellish confection, the marketer returned to the surface world and sold the cake as a “Devil Dog.”

8) Jocular Femurs (Funny Bones)

The name "Jocular Femurs" simply didn’t go over well with focus groups, mainly because no one knew what jocular meant, or where the femur was located in the body. Due to their limited vocabulary and lack of understanding of human bone structure, Hostess presented them with the name Funny Bones as an alternative. Thankfully, the group knew what funny meant and the name stuck.

What rejected name do you think is the worst?

Tags: lists, life, dessert, hostess, twinkies, zingers

Write your own comment!


Write your own comment!


About the Author
Steven Romano

Like Captain America, Steven Romano is just a boy from Brooklyn. When he isn't contributing to The MindHut and other geeky websites, Steven's hard at work writing his first novel and comic book scripts. Follow him on Twitter @Steven_Romano, and swing by his blog: stevenromano.tumblr.com

Wanna contact a writer or editor? Email contribute@sparknotes.com.

From Our Partners